Here I am, in the car, on the way home from Raleigh. I need a spa day bad, or at least a makeover- not that I've ever had each, but they sound nice. Instead, I had my version of an adventure. I had to go to Raleigh to sign papers for teaching at NCVPS, and Melissa and Michelle where going to be there, and Barleyjuice was playing at Tirnanog...so...adventure. And this is how it went:
All week: worked like a madwoman to have all of the prom props painted before I left- lots of late evenings @ school, plus a band concert. Stressed about money, resolved that, stressed about car not working right-
Thursday: supposed to be observed- made sure all bells and whistles were in place, students compliant. Never showed up. Painted the last bit of prom art- a 3' x 4' copy of 'Starry Night' in 20 minutes during study hall with my fingers. *that* is some kind of record. Car working ok- Manz had it fixed by Dad's mechanic Ray (new waterpump)- went to get me a new tire when I got home from school @ 2 and packed. Began drive to Raleigh (apt. is for 4:30), Serpentine belt breaks halfway there- thankgod there was a service station right off the exit. Missed the apt, but after several many hours, car was fixed. In the meantime I sat in the lobby and did school work until the computer battery died....resumed trip to Raleigh.
Thursday night: @ hotel there is a Manga convention, which means hosts of teenagers dressed up in costumes based mainly on Japanese comics. With a herd of random Darth Vaders tossed in. And a few Furries. And assorted grown men trying very, very hard to pretend that they are *not* looking at teenage girls dressed in sailor-moon miniskirts with pink wigs and platform boots. We went to Tirannog, where the show was awesome, Aviator brewery was having a beer tasting (with free glasses if you bought a pint of the 'good stuff')... ruben sandwich and a bit of overindulgence. Was awesome getting to sit and talk and hang out- I've missed 'Miss Ball' so much!
Friday: woke up feeling like death (to old for late nights, even though I love our new free glasses- yes, plural). Went to sign papers, made it home. Went to sleep while understanding manz teased me.....
Point is, I am still at that awkward age. I am 47, mentally about 20. In my mind I am young enough to crave adventures, want to look good, know what all the current things are, and slack off.....and I'm sure this is influenced with hanging out with teenagers 80% of the time. I'm also old enough to know I am smart, and I feel guilty when I slack off, and know the difference between fantasy (20) and reality (47). However.... sometimes the mind and body don't seem to synchronize all that well and... bleah.
Lately I've been feeling particularly haggish. My hair needs dyed, my eyebrows plucked, I've gained the weight back (stress eating...and when I asked the new doctor about my struggle to gain weight, she just shrugged and said: "it's hard, isn't it?" which was not helpful at all. or encouraging. or adviceful- seriously, for my copay I should at least get either encouragement or a scolding.... or at least a 'participant' sticker). As usual, at the end of the year everything I own has paint on it somewhere, all of my shoes have holes in them and I'm feeling very, very haggish. In a perfect world I would go get my hair professionally dyed (only have once ever in my life...in Texas, years ago), get my eyebrows waxed (and the legs! I hate shaving and never learned how to do it properly), suddenly be bestowed with 3 pairs of shoes (new rainbows, any kind of TOMS, and black lowtop chucks), jeans that fit, long comfy summer dresses, long skirts and amazing new shirts that didn't have: buttons,collars, glitter, stupid designs and showed off the boobs while hiding the tummy. And my art fat would disappear. And the doggs would get better and grow their fur back (Max is really in rough shape- vet again on Thursday. He eats and seems to feel ok, just fierce itching and fur loss- looks like one of the beasts people claim are el chupacabras)..... the manz needs new jeans and work boots....
the house is haggish to. needs cleaned, stuff tossed, the yarden mowed (I blame the dogg condition on some plant. like poison ivy or something).... sigh. and I have work to do for the virtual school, and Trask. What I want to do is go to the beach (take doggs swimming- think saltwater would be magic on them) read a good book that I haven't read before, find a way to get positive and motivated about dieting...just kinda change everything. and I know I'm whining- but sometimes that is what a blog is for since I don't keep a paper journal anymore.
And don't get me wrong- my life *is* very good, very busy, very happy- I'm lucky, in love with my husband (who loves me right back), love my family, friends, job, kids @ school.... I just want to look/feel better doing it.
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| Virtual makeover in the soccer-mom mode. Now I look like all the other teachers. Actually, this was kinda fun- |
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