SALT

So... we need to rethink that food resolution.  (I know, I know, it's boring to talk about this- don't read if your bored : ) it's more of an introspective me working things out, ya know).

So... yesterday this is what happened.
1. Good start.  Sensible breakfast (oatmeal rocks! Mcdonald's has it now btw, but I get mine at home)

2. Get to school.  Our lady principal- my current role model because she manages to balance being a  new principal with a baby, a much younger husband, just got her doctorate, runs marathons, has uber-curly hair that always looks good and is just to perfect- brought us donuts as a reward for judging senior projects last night.  Not the typical boxed plain glazed donuts- I can resist those if I don't see/smell them- but *our* donuts.  The one donut we indicated was our absolute favorite at the beginning of the year. (Mine is a sugar bomb.  You know, the kind with frosting in the middle and icing on top).  So this amazing woman- who was at judging until past 8 last night, baby on hip since the faculty meeting at 3:30, because this has been hell-week at school- got up extra early (lives in Brunswick county, so let's add a 45 minute one way trip to school to her awesomeness) went to dunkin donuts in Wilmington to pick up the specialized order, just to give us our special donut.  You can't say no to that kind of dedication.  I ate the donut.

3.  One of my seniors who I mentored (they all passed with flying colors! yay! all those afternoons after school paid off) brought me a couple of cookies they made for a thank-you.   They stood there beaming at me until I ate them.... no hurt feelings here.

4. The foods class, that prepared the snackies for last night, made us a surprise thank you lunch- lasagna, green beans, tea, more cookies.  Doom.

5. My financial aid for college is all in a mess because of two many/not enough hours (it's a catch 24 situation that is way to complex and annoying to describe here)...so I either have to change my program or pay for my classes myself- anyway, they chose to wait until the first day of class to tell me this. So no money, and I'm freaking out.  I try to eat a table.  (actually not, but anything in sight that is remotely edible is fair game)

6. I go home, and the manz (who gets a kabillion gold stars for being understanding) tucks me in bed, where I sleep more or less until this morning.

I've been reading about addiction- and the H.A.L.T. factor.  Halt is what addicts are supposed to ask themselves before they indulge- what do they really need/feeling?  Are they hungry, angry, lonely, tired?  Well...for me I get to number one and it's history baby.  I'm changing it to S.A.L.T.-  meaning Stressed? Angry? aLone? Tired?  Explanation follows:

Stressed:  I eat when I'm stressed.  If I can recognize this, and do something else to destress.

Angry:  I get angry.  I get angry when I have to tell other people what to do. (Sit down, listen, blah blah blah)
I get angry- very- when I am criticised. I can do that for myself quite well, thank-you. (see? even thinking about it makes me angry)

aLone: instead of lonely- it's simply people-overload.  I love my kids at school, but they are needy, loud and always around (I actually had one *knock* on the bathroom door yesterday.  I came out and gave her a lecture about stalking and what the words 'wait a minute' mean).  I need quiet time.  Decompression without noise and questions and me, me, me.  I need to give myself 'time outs' at school.... soon as I find a place to hide.

Tired: when I'm tired I cease to function.  I get all of the above, plus stupid.  The only solution for that is a nap, which thankfully, the manz understands.  So when I'm tired, instead of trying to cram in more fuel/food, I need to sleep, even for just a few minutes. Or if that isn't possible, I just need to say 'hey, I'm tired' and stop doing stuff...

send good mojo to solve my financial aid problem. Money sucks.