Wednesday, July 24, 2013

On Teaching- a repost of a facebook rant by me.

Teaching- I've avoid posting, but now it's my turn-

Teaching. I'm a little over half-way to retirement. Once I decided on this career, I invested in it- time, money, passion to be the best I could be. I got my boards, then renewed them. I got my master's degree, and am almost finished with another. I hoped to one day get a doctorate- not to leave the classroom, but to *stay* in the classroom, doing what I could with the weight of the title to make things better. In the meantime, I worked hard. Laughed, loved my kids, fussed at my kids, cried over them. Buried a few. Watched others grow into incredible, magical adults. I made art, learned things, taught things. Bought, begged and scrounged for supplies. Stayed countless hours after school for gate duty, tutoring, productions and just plain 'school stuff'. Worried and worked all summer to reinvent the wheel- updating lessons, management, technology to try to keep pace. Yes, I get very tired, very frustrated. Sometimes I lose my temper. But overall, I love what I do. I love teaching, and my story is a common one. Many teachers put in the same time, effort and passion as I do.

Our state (NC) has chosen to make changes regarding tenure, pay, degree value and other conditions. This makes me sad, angry and scared for my future. While I did not go into teaching for the money, the profession did provide me with the stability, security and flexibility to raise a child as a single mother. I have always worked two jobs, and know how to live on small means. Now, that security is threatened- and I am left with:

1. Ambition- a partial degree and aspirations, but no time, support or incentive other than intrinsic to complete them.

2. Sallie Mae at my door. Education is *expensive*- my education was priceless, but paybacks are due and I have to find a way. This is a constant worry.

3. Fidelity. I *love* my schools (Trask and NCVPS). I'm old fashioned in that I stick with something to the bitter end- but financially I would do well to change states, change jobs. I don't want to- but tell that to Sallie Mae. Also- quite frankly- I'm settled. I could uproot my life, but I'd rather not.

4. Future Shock. How are we going to recruit and retain quality teachers in our schools? How can we ethically encourage students to enter the field of education? Why would our Universities and Colleges continue on offering graduate levels in education if our state teachers cannot afford it and cannot profit by it? The huge impact of this decision echos from early childhood throughout University-

5. What have I done wrong? I understand and support performance reviews- they are critical to maintaining excellence and self-awareness. I understand (boy, do I ever) the need for budgeting. I believe that we can work on finding/creating other ways to modify the budget. I might be taking this personally- as in the 'what have I done wrong'- but it is personal. This decision feels like a punishment, and I'm not sure for what.

6. Attitude. Again, I love my job, my kids- but I get tired. I don't want a parade, and I don't expect to be a millionaire, or a thousandaire- but I also did not expect to still be at the base level of needs at my age. To have to worry about making enough to cover shelter, food, necessities, medical (don't get me started on that!). To have no- zero- zip- zilch- savings. No material recognition (as in money- not as in a pretty pretty paper award) for hard work well done. Don't get me wrong- there is emotional/ intellectual satisfaction in doing a good job and seeing the kids shine- but frankly, that does not put ramen in the bowl.

7. Hope. Hope that things will change, or that I will find enough mojo to change myself, reorder my life, try something new. Hope that all clouds pass, that together we can raise our voice and not only be heard but be *listened* to. Hope that this moment is the bottom of the barrel, and that we now begin the long climb up.

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