Man-n-Dogg

You know how a person is supposed to look like their pet? Well, Max has finally found his soul-mate. Just look at this. Hair? Curly. check. Knot-on-head? check... now check out the forehead and nose, the acceptable chair-position... the overall leanness, pleasant attitude and fun-ability. Match made in heaven.

Max still loves me... BUT... he has a big dog-crush on the manz. Goes to him first, falls asleep with his head on the knee, or resting on the foot, does his special 'itchy-dogg-butt-dance', comes when he calls (max has never come when I called in his entire max-life), waits patiently for pats and treats. Of course, being pampered has *nothing* to do with it... the extra bite of bacon (when a man-n-dogg share bacon, it is true love), making Bear go outside and letting Max stay in to snooze on the couch... playing fetch-the-dreidel, bringing over other favorite toys (like Rhino and the pinks)... I'm afraid that Max is smitten. Totally nose-over-tail full out adoration. The only thing that would make it better is if the Man wore pink (the Man *does not* wear pink... and is trying to persuade Max that red is just a 'manly' pink)

In the meantime, Bear and I eat all the cookies : )

"I'm not absent...

....I'm suspended" so, we put Jordan on speaker phone and he joined right in. This is him in his assigned seat...(which didn't last long)...

This is him hanging out with Frankie, Shane, Durno, Mike and Mikayla as usual..... jeeze, Jordan, STAY IN YOUR SEAT!

Govi's

Govi's come from the Yoruba ethnic group of West Africa- the group of people whose culture was assimilated into the Santeria of Cuba, Candomble' of Brazil, Vodun of Haiti and the deep South, Gullah of the Sea Islands of SC and Georgia. Traditionally, the govi is a container for the soul of a deceased person... after death, the person's soul hangs out for three years while the 'powers that be' decided where they go- heaven, hell or earth as an ancestral spirit. During these three years the spirit is both vulnerable to control by bad magic (thus zombies, etc) and tends to spy on the living in order to negotiate a better place in the afterlife. ("hey, you think *I* was bad? Do you know what Aunt Selma has been up to? Do you know she wears red drawers?")

The govi was a container- traditionally made from gourds- that was hung in a tree in order to trick the spirit (dead folks are apparently not-to-bright at first) into thinking it was it's 'head' (thus the faces painted on it). The spirit would enter the container, be bottled up for three years, then released. This prevented it from bad-magic control and spying on all your secrets!

In the American south, Govi's appeared in two forms- the clay face jugs and the use of glass bottles. Clay face jugs were originally made by slaves (the earliest signed example is from 1850, David Drake in SC) and appropriated into folk pottery traditions. There was either a misunderstanding or a wicked sense of humor, because White face-jug makers originally made face jugs to hold spirits- but spirits-as-in-booze, not spirits-as-in-dead folks. Now the big potteries make them because they are popular with collectors, the original intention is lost.

Glass bottles are turned upside down to decorate graves- there is a great old graveyard down in Beaufort SC with these. More commonly, they were turned upside down on the end of tree branches- bottle trees. This got all mixed up with the European witch-ball tradition, and bottle trees are used for both containing good spirits and distracting the bad ones. The bottle trees are becoming more popular as a yarden-decorating device... you can buy welded metal 'trees' for your bottles...

The govi's we make in class are fused traditions- of course I teach all of the above stuff, but we combine the glass-bottle tradition with the face tradition..thus the painted bottles. (For awhile we did the clay face jugs, but clay and I are not pals and every time I touch it I get incredibly sick. bleah.) Anyhoo, the bottles in the picture I made this past week for examples- I work along with the students in class. Who are they for? (Left to right) Pink = Granny Wrye (it doesn't really look like her- that isn't the point so much as capturing her ideal of pink femininity) The Green Man (for my old painted green-man car... cars have spirits too!), the blue bottle in the back is actually two people- the left side is female, the right side male (the couple from the house in Rose Hill I almost bought long ago, it was for sale because they were killed in a car crash), Black bottle with pink tear drop and red heart is Marie Leveau (famous Voodoo Queen), and the little bottle is for Kia, a former student. These are a way of remembering- the kids are making bottles about grandparents and pets, celebrities and Jesus.

Memory, dream, mystery, imagination.

In progress

Studio in progress... when I *finally* got home yesterday, someone had been busy, busy all day...the ick carpet was up, and both layers of ugly ugly vinyl- up, hauled off and everything back...with a pile of excavated things that had fallen here and there. (Including a dead mousie, but he didn't save that...) Next step is to redo the floor, paint everything (him: color? me: white. him: trim? me: white. him: not even a little color? me: well, off-white is ok...him: am I gonna have to paint the floor white? me: NO...)

Seriously, (I love that word) seriously, the room is over-cluttered and not useful right now. I want to retain it's 'oldness' and charm, but get the artcrap organized and out of site... it is everyone's favorite room, we use it for the computer and tv and hanging out, making art and all of it. So we are trying to determine layout, what stays and what goes. The big desk (Poppy's desk) stays. Grendel's desk- his room. My leather chair stays. Recliner? needs it's foot fixed, and man needs a comfy chair. I need cabinets for storage. I don't really need a work 'surface' because I do art in chair while watching videos, or on the computer. If I'm doing a big painting it's outside on the easel.

What I want is a comfy room for everyone to work and play together.... I'm really liking together... : )

and the house needs a name. Suggestions?

Green Manz

More man-talents are surfacing... a new surprise every day! This one is gardening, and creating ala-junk brothers. A discarded bbq thing becomes a cauldron full of flowers, a couple of old valances get repaired, ended and painted into a double window box full of cockscomb and moss roses. (that project was a surprise, completed while I was doing homework...). Cascading petunias in the shoe, color all over the garden. More plans for flower beds, landscaping... creating something beautiful out of nothing. Man after my own heart (but with a much, much greener thumb)

Acquisition of storm windows to create a sun porch that we can actually *use* comfortably- I love my porch, but it is only usable a few rare days out of the year when the misquotes haven't found it yet...then it becomes a buffet for them... we love sitting outside with coffee in the morning, talking there in the afternoon, and this way that will continue to be possible without needing blood transfusions.

Gotta love the man!

New-2-Me!

A stove! Yay! Now I can not-cook even though I have a stove! (well, it was a good excuse...) seriously, I love it. It is exactly what I wanted but cheaper! Yay! White/black Kennmore, flat surface (take *that* mice), oven, even a digital clock. Works like a charm.... Man worked his man-magic and talked to Lonnie Saturday, who happened to not only just have acquired this stove, but had it on his truck- they brought it home yesterday after work. Bliss. and a substantial savings!

Today- and I almost posted another photo for this, but I'll save that for tomorrow- is the great and terrible removal of the narsty brown carpet in the studio that I have been wanting rid of forever, and ever and ever. It reeks of dogg (which I blame mostly on Ruffian...and Jezebelle) I've cleaned it a billion times, without success. sigh. And I want to rearrange the studio, create built-in type cabinets etc... this is the first scary step to that. Everything out, carpet gone, then the great and terrible repositioning of furniture. Bookcase into guest room, where it is supposed to go.... I want to use my proper desk (Poppy's desk) for the computer- Grendel's black desk can go...Where? dunno. Charles is going to run the computer line into the boy's room, so it could go in there, get rid of the white desk.... I vaguely worry that 'oh, he won't want to be isolated from us when playing his games' but truth be told, he is probably going to do back-flips for some alone time after being forced to be room-mate friendly for months....

Seriously, (that word again!) the studio has become cluttered with stuff and I want to open it out some. It's everyone's favorite room, and it needs to be comfortable and workable at the same time- I want to make the guest room into a guest room/magic room for all my books and bottles of stuff. I want the studio to be able to be organized, neat, yet have my art stuff accessible. Comfortable for watching videos or computer-tv, but still my work area for school, making art. I want to keep the shabby-chic cottage look (and is there a real danger of losing that?....uh, no, not when everything I have comes from yard sales).

Quilt

I have always loved quilts- yet another thing to blame on 'Little house on the Prairie', the Foxfire books and the whole white-geese-with-blue-ribbons era of decorating. But I love them with all my aesthetic heart~

I have lots (comparatively) of quilts- the beautiful ones from Mothers house that never see the light of day because they have white backgrounds and I have doggs, a couple of wedding ring quilts, lots of crazy quilts made out of crazy colors of polyester fabrics (not very attractive, but incredibly warm. Nothing quite like polyester to hold in heat, stand up to doggs and constant washing)... some beautiful depression-era quilts salvaged from that house in Boone, lots of squares and faces that are not sewn together but are old and lovely. Last night the only quilt I won (for all of 5 dollars) is NOT the one in the picture... (almost did, but I set a 10 dollar limit on myself) but the one I won was handmade, with a feed-sack backing. The front is long rectangular strips in blue/off white check and a reddish print. This was not a quilt for show. This is a quilt that is practical, sensible, heavy and durable- vaguely patriotic, definitely worth the 5 bucks. It will either land in boys room, the guest room, or on the couch.

Seriously, I think the real reason I love quilts is that they are made of bits of the past, and even if it is not my past, I can pretend, right? "Oh, this bright-pink and aqua textured polyester part came from Auntie Hildy's shorts she wore on her big Florida vacation. Remember? I can see her as plain as day- the big white plastic sunglasses, the sleeveless yellow check shirt with buttons and the toucan design, the shorts - thank God they reached her knees!- her little white footy socks with the pompoms on the back, the bright pink keds and white patent leather handbag that shown in the sun. Uncle Early wore his Budweiser hat, and that piece- see that orange and red print there? That was his attempt at 'tropical' attire! You would of thought he was going on safari! Funny thing is, that hat- you know, it was the can fronts connected with crochet- had these little holes between the stitches. You shoulda seen his sunburn! Lord, he looked like he walked all over Disney with a colander on his head!"

One little Piggy....

Isn't this a splendid pig? He (or she?) was at the auction tonight... they can't auction it, and will probably sell it for a kabillion dollars, but I surely liked visiting it.... late post today because I was queen of lazy until about 2, when I decided to dye my hair. Less said about the results the better- let's just say this pig has a better dye job than me at the moment....

Thank-god for scarves!

Cult-chure

It's been a week of 'cult-chure' (imagine a genteel southern-lady type accent, with one pinkie properly extended)... last night we went to Sarah's art show at the high school, all art by my ap kids, lovely snacks by Sarah. Chocolate covered strawberries, cheese, Hawaiian cookies (little sand-tarts with a pineapple coconut filling- yummmy) strawberry blossoms (strawberries cut like flowers, filled with a cream-cheese whippy goodness and dark chocolate leaves) and this delightful punch that involved coffee and vanilla ice cream... the art was good to!

Last night on our way back from Wal-mart we stopped at the first outdoor 'third Thursday' concert of the year at the outside theater behind the women's club. We had seen the sign before, but had not realised it was so soon... we pulled the blanket out of the car and joined the crowd. The Country Roads were the performers, country/Western with a bit of beach music thrown in. Such fun! Between Wal-mart and the concert, I swear this man knows everyone in the county... honestly, every aisle in the store there was a conversation, and all the fellows at the concert kept waving. (one kept poking Charles and saying 'you know, they have weddings here. Did you know they have weddings here? They do have weddings here...and other things...and weddings!)

Tonight it is off to Topsail for the spring production: Wizard of Oz. It is the first production in the new auditorium, and knowing Rochelle, it will be an extravaganza. I miss being in her plays- I really do like acting. To my credit, I have been the figurehead on a ship, Hecate from Macbeth and Queen Titania in Midsummer's Night's Dream. (Oddly enough, Charles played 'Bottom' the donkey-headed character) Match made in heaven.

Spam meets Tofu

Look what found it's way into my kitchen! Ewwww...boy food....ewwwww.... A few years ago there were these print ads for kitchen stuff (I can't find an example on the web) but they were based on the union of opposites. country + city. geek + fashion. etc. ... well, that's us. Spam + Tofu. Both of them can be sliced and pan-fried, one is healthy and the other is....spam. spam spam spam.

Slightly Pink Almost Meat. spam.

I blame it on him living in Hawaii, where apparently they are all addicted to spam and it is on the menu at every restaurant... they even have spam festivals. (oooOOooo who wants to be Spam Queen? pick me! pick me!) Or it might just be country-boy, or just simply boy-food. Along with fruit loops, mountain dew, oreos and other foods that cling to girl-butts just by looking at them. Not fair, not fair at all. He has ultra-high metabolism, can eat everything and anything in vast quantities while I nibble on my plain toast....

So we have a house with man-food (anything chocolate, spam, bacon, sweet tea, meat-based foods) boy-food (likes the fruit flavored, more bacon, cheese, more meat-based foods) and girl-food (bran cereal. plain yogurt. vegetables. fresh fruit. water. tofu) and...whose the fattest of them all? Yep. It would be me. not fair, not fair, not fair... but at least I won't die of scurvy.

Athena

The owl is the symbol of Athena, goddess of wisdom and the night. Charlie-girl brought this plate back from Greece years ago, a gift for us from her trip. It makes me think of sunny seas and islands full of crumbling white marble, olive oil, goat cheese and bitter herbs. I've never been to Greece, but in my mind it smells like preserved lemons, tastes like sea salt, sounds of small copper bells and goat hooves. Imagine.

Animal symbols, gifts from trips. Different aspects of our lives visualized as animals, totems, parts of us that recognize the impulse. I have alot of animal based artifacts in this house- most of them are not intentional as in 'oh, i think i'll start collecting pink piggs' but rather found their way to me. A gift, a hand-me-down, a stray in a box lot. Those are the types of animals that are magical.

What do I have? Owls- two, but lots of birds. Tiny glass birds from the factories near home, a carved wooden song bird, the black feathered crow that guards Daddy's box. A dove decoy perched on the studio window. Birds most of all- but also two wooden tigers, a painted large coyote head, a white horse, an armadillo, a few wooden dogs, a cadejo that bear chewed up (bad bear! bad bad bad bear!) frogs, fish, the parade of small animals on the bookshelf, Daddy's lions, the bobs (longhorn skulls), turkey tails, Grendel's twisty dragons. A menagerie, a zoo.

What are we? I am coyote, the man is a jack-rabbit, the boy a dragon. Melissa is a bear, Daddy a lion, Mother a quail-who-became-elephant (elephants are lucky and wise...lovely thing to be). Sister Sue is a cat, hands down, at least to me (it's the eyes, the mannerisms) Barbie a bird, happy in the nest, busy and singing and flying around...

When I was little, I thought I was a horse, wanted to be a horse, pretended to be a horse, and sometimes was a horse. It wasn't until I was a mother that I discovered that this horse is really a coyote, clever and tricky and silly all at once. Now I know~

Juan toe, two toe.

Late post today- between the wild change in temps, pulling up the floor and seasonal allergies I am a drippy, sneezy mess who had a hard, hard time getting going this morning. Now all I can focus on is getting tucked into my bed after a bowl of spicy homemade chili and a hot cuppa tea... good nights sleep will set me right. (nice to have someone to take care of me, I admit! If he can put up with me sick, he can put up with most anything, I'm thinking)

Anyway, the AP class took advantage of sick-king plus exams being over to play nail salon today. Delicia did Neena's nails, a complex process involving filling and smoothing, a seven sided emery board thing, several coats of polish and the final application of stripes. They turned out shiny red, long and beautiful.

Was funny, Robby admitted that he liked when Sylvia filed and buffed his nails... and Diana painted Juan's toenails glittery red. They look like little race cars.... people kept coming by to see what smelled like nail polish (it was nail polish) and the other less-pleasant nail-doing orders.

lovely. Everyone needs a day at the spa...even if it is only art spa.

ginger beer

Round bottomed bottle used for ginger beer (a spicy version of ginger ale), dating from around 1880. Before caps were common, sodas had corks- the bottles were round bottomed so that they had to lay on their sides. The liquid kept the cork from drying out and the carbonation from escaping. Ingenious, eh?

I took this picture this morning just because the bottle is so pretty hanging there in the window- all green and with the crazing showing (it doesn't show as well in the photo- the bottle is crazed, with little lines all back and forth like the skin of reptiles)... it matches the outside perfectly because today is all greenish gray with rain. Has been raining for days, the yarden is a pond, will have to put my big black wellies on to make it to the car. Cold outside to- feels more like March than May. Still and all, it's the last of spring, everything is growing like crazy.

Yesterday the transformer blew in a ball of blue light, power out for a bit so we ate dinner in the quiet dusk, no sound but the rain on the roof. Nice. All day we had music and singing- did small chores about the house (he fixed the doors, I reded-up). The dogs playing about, getting to spend the day inside because of the storms, dog parties, wrestling on the floor, wanting pets and pats. Max has totally abandoned me in favor of the man, Bear loves everyone but misses the boy. It's nice to be a family.

wisdom

Something that is not mine, but I lust after anyway- a cobalt blue owl-wing poison bottle. Poison bottles were usually green or blue, always textured and usually had a skull and/or the word 'poison' on them. Not quite sure why this one has the owl on it- it is Swiss and I haven't seen one in person- yet.

I brought this up cause I am working on a new art piece that came about rather by accident... I was happily tearing up an old book and realised that it was a true story of a poisoning. So today, today I will tell you a story.

Once upon a time there was a Doctor known as Dr. Edward Willam Pritchard...now this was way back in 1865 in bonny ol' Scotland. Dr. Pritchard wasn't the best of doctors, he was vain and had questionable skills, thought he was God's gift to women. Now, he was married- and they had five children- and his in-laws thought him perfect. But so did the serving girls. Or anyway, he convinced them as such. The first victim was Elizabeth, who died mysteriously in a fire (she didn't even bother to get out of bed) that everyone else escaped. The next girl, Mary, was only 15 when she turned up pregnant... he was fond of her though, and said that he would marry her if only his wife was not around.

Well, his wife began a slow decline... stomach problems. Her mother came to nurse her, but soon fell ill as well. After a bit, they both died- of 'natural' causes as a result of the mystery illness. Another doctor became suspicious and called for the bodies to be exhumed. It was found that both the mother and daughter had been poisoned with Antimony.

This was quite clever, because antimony was both a poison and a drug. As a poison it was fast acting and deadly, so as a drug it had to be carefully controlled. Being a metal, antimony was used as an alloy to create metal drinking cups, and to use it as a drug, liquid would be left in the cup over night to leach the antimony, which could then be consumed in non-lethal doses. The dear doctor kept ALL of his wife's beverages in antimony containers, from which the helpful Mary would serve drinks to the wife and mother.

Mary was acquitted, the doctor convicted and hung. (Last public hanging in Scotland). Interesting, curious... a good singing bones story. I am happily working on the art and will have it posted in a bit- mean time, watch your drink!

Enchanted Object

Enchanted objects are a part of everyone's lives, and you can tell a person by their objects. What they are, briefly, are objects that you must have, or acquire, collect or are attracted to for no good reason... but they are your props of existence. When you uncover someones objects, you know them better, can clue into some of the things they think are important, necessary.

For example, a few of mine are: black ink pens, scissors (I have twenty million pairs), big black sketchbook, bottles...etc. We all have them.

I am just discovering Charles's objects- for now, there is the Styrofoam cup, the hair brush, the hippie hand salve... This is the Styrofoam cup. It's been here a few days... washed, refilled, washed, refilled. There is a *real* cup with-a-lid, but it hasn't been moved in yet. And my girly-girl pink travel coffee-cups a) haven't the capacity and b) are girly-girl pink. So thus- liking insulation, straws and lids... the Styrofoam cup. I've gotten quite used to it- if it was a glass glass I would be obligated to retrieve it and wash it every now and again, but because it is Styrofoam, I am free to leave it alone. The hair brush(es) are important- and it's kinda funny- he has long hair and takes good care of it, brushes it often. Me? haven't brushed mine in.... years. I run my fingers through it in the shower and call it good. The hippie hand-salve is lemongrass and was originally a gift from Melissa. (I looooove the smell of lemongrass). Because he works hard and has toughened hands, the salve keeps them comfortable... many other salves were tried out, but this is the best- I like the soy, but it hasn't the staying power or the lovely smell. In case your wondering, the hippie-hand stuff is made by Harmony Acres Soap company- it's good stuff.

This is one of the funnest parts of discovering each other- the little things the other person likes, the important common place objects we acquire, the small comforts that make us happy. And happy we are!

Rabbit Rabbit

On the first day of every month, before you say another word, say 'rabbit' three times and you will prosper.

My old brass rabbit bank, has been around since I was little, full of pennies that are aging by the moment. Wonders. I had lots of banks, mostly brightly colored paper-mache' animals (a frog, a pig, a cow, an owl, others~) but only the cow survives of those. A mystery, I don't know what happened to them... but I love the yellow cow. This rabbit though has been a constant companion, hauled all over everywhere with me. Steady, strong, full and ready to leap off over the moon. Rabbit, rabbit, bring me luck.

Seems like I've been writing about rabbits allot lately- spring is the season for them. And the manz sometimes reminds me of a jackrabbit- long and lean and fast- not the fluffy Bunni of the garden, but the trickster that can give coyote a run for the money. and coyote I is.

Money is a tricky thing. Just found out this morning that the big chemical plant close to school - they make nail polish for Sally Hansen- is closing. 500 jobs gone, most of the parents of my students who don't work in agriculture work in the plant. This is going to have a massive impact on our small community, where already things are tight. There are just not enough jobs to go around- thank-god I work in education, can hopefully weather the economic storms. I am careful with money, but things happen in waves- and voc rehab said no-go on my hearing aids (I would have to be jobless or make under a certain amount to qualify). So I am going to continue to make do and live my interpretive life (your auntie did *what* with a squirrel? For dinner? Really? No, I would not like some soup.)

Sweetening Jar

Sweetening Jars are an old folk-magic charm to 'sweeten' lives- rather like a cosmic attitude adjustment. The basis for a sweetning jar is a sweet syrup- it can be honey, molasses, corn syrup, cane, maple, burnt sugar... you pick the syrup on what you want to do- think about the color, the taste, where it comes from, the viscosity. The comparison of sweetness and labor and love. Then you put into it things to 'push' it in the desired direction- rose hips or mint, butterfly wings, jobs tears, red peppers... finally your wish is written out and tucked inside. The whole is sealed and the sweetening can begin.

My jar is made from honey and rose hips, a wish written on pink joss paper, sealed with bee's wax. Honey is the labor of the bee, food for the queen, a natural sweetener and healer that needs no refinement from man in order to be perfect. Rose hips are the fruit of the rose, what lasts after the bloom is blown and scattered, the essence of the rose condensed into the ripe red hip. Joss paper comes from China and is used in their celebrations that provide gifts for the afterlife- this paper is a dark vibrant pink, glowing and fragile, thin as a ghost. The jar itself once contained artichoke hearts, the soft heart hidden in a prickly core of leaves and bristles.

A jar to sweeten my heart.

Does magic work? or is it just a psychological key to understand our selves better? Are we what we wish for? It doesn't matter much the how or the why of it- what is important is that sometimes it takes us to the places we need to go.

Manz

This is Charles. He hates having his picture taken, but he loves me. I'm going to keep him. (yes, I know, I know...I've been flipping all over the place like a pingpong ball in a windstorm.) I set all these boundaries, tried really, really hard to play by the rules and follow my head instead of my heart.

Then we ran into each other at Wal-mart last night, ended up sitting in the parking lot talking for four hours. (We weren't the only ones... apparently Wal-mart parking lot is a popular place for couples to talk, friends to hang out and people who can't drive) we talked about everything we could think of, all the whys and why nots, all the practical sensible stuff like bills and chores and food... we talked about families and friends, the doggs, Grendel and what we want to do with the rest of our lives. We talked about being opposites but very similar and the challenges and opportunities that might incur. All of those things, all the corners, nooks and crannies that need explored. I talked about my huge resistance to change and fear of losing independence, he talked about learning how to trust someone again. Lots of words, lots of everything...

We decided to give it a go. We are going to try it for a year and a day, and see what happens. If we don't try, we will never know~ two steps forward, one step back. Easing into something new, one day at a time. Wish us well.

Larry's Chicken

One of the reasons I like school so much is just the times of silliness- I get just as caught up in it as the kids and we have such fun. Odd thing, I never remember school being fun when I was a student- except second-time-round in college, but that was a different kind of fun.... I hadn't learned to be silly yet.

Larry is one of the members of my 'island of misfit toys' that I have first block- my non-class class that consists of: my intern Lesley, my independent study Alex, Larry- who doesn't have a class and just needs a place to hang out... and any other lost souls that are displaced first thing in the morning. They keep the room neat and help me set up for classes, but mostly they watch movies or the animal channel and talk. Sometimes Larry sleeps in the closet. Lesley usually takes most of class to groom- make up and hair straightening, nails... Alex draws or watches or tries to teach me Spanish. Very different people who have become friends with each other, and with me. Our little island.

We were prepping for my crafts class- which required the gloves- when we started playing with the gloves... blowing them up, making them into puppets, squids, chickens. An ill-tied water-glove that I managed to burst all over me, drowning the kids in laughter. (I'm like a three-year-old, I always have to take extra clothes to school....)

I wonder if my other classmates had this type of experience in high school... I was a bit of a loner (well, more than a bit...) and 'odd' so there wasn't this type of comradery, and I don't remember the teachers ever having much fun. School was work, competition and social-anxiety hell. Now, even though I am human and get mad and frustrated and ready to 'hang them up in the sour apple tree', I love them, love my work and have such fun doing it. Sure we take things seriously- but hopefully they can look at me and see an adult who is joyful in what they do, does their job because they want to (and yeah, it pays the bills- barely)... an adult who really likes them. There are others like me here at school- I know it isn't everyones style, or appropriate for every class situation. But this is how I connect best- it took me so long to realise this. You know, up until I relaxed at teaching, I spent so much of my life worrying about being appropriate and fitting in... I was spirited, but it was rebellious not joyous. Now I am discovering the pure happiness of just being me, rubber-glove chickens and all.

Roses

The yarden is a tumble of roses- red, pink, a few yellow.. the red comes from the tall bush right outside the kitchen window, it is only one cluster of many. The tiny pink are in the way back azalea maze, thick and full but hidden from view- unless you are wandering around the tree farm.

This weekend was the best- I cleaned most of the house thoroughly, which was nice... yesterday was spent mainly outside, mowed the grass, worked along the front porch some. Recovered the well (a beautiful large orange-headed skink lives in the well house), cleaned off most of the front porch. I just got into it and didn't want to go anywhere or do anything else... it felt good to set it all in order.

I function through chaos- bits of this and that coming together somehow, but then I need to press my 'reset' button, straighten everything out, calm it all down so I can start again. Clear mind, clean house, ready to go on the next adventure.

Mother's Day!

I love my mother, I love being a mother. It's a wonderful thing- not easy, but wonderful none-the-less.

My mother is smart and beautiful, kind and funny, talented, brave and wise. She is also human- and we love her for that part as well- that is the part that creates *liking* her as well as loving her. It is easy to love someone because they are your mother... but it is rare when you like someone, just because of the person that they are. I like you mum! Count you friend.

I think I'm going to list things you taught me- one for each year- a long list but not covering the whole of it at all.

Here goes:

1. Eat a banana everyday

2. Oatmeal never hurt anyone.

3. The confidence to drive across country at a moment's notice

4. how to read a map

5. to not over-mix muffins so they will rise right

6. the names of flowers

7. how to crochet, even though I am bad at it (persevere)

8. how to embroider, which I am very good at

9. to not swear, ever (I'm trying!)

10. that cleaning day is Friday, and make sure to dust the chair rungs

11. lotion is the skins best friend

12. don't blow your nose- dab

13. Manners!

14. How to handle difficult people and still manage to love them (Granny Wrye and Jack...and me)

15. How to read. This shaped my whole life- thankyou!

16. All about color and beauty and design- mum, you are one of the most talented people I know, with a keen eye for shape and color and texture. I am an artist because YOU are an artist, even if you don't think so~

17. that the essentials of life are: support hose, emery boards and dove soap

18. to never lose my purse

19. to always carry tissues in that purse!

20. How to swim and love the water

21. How to make things out of nothing- my beloved cardboard 'Barbie house' and all the little furniture, the endless doll clothes

22. How to think and figure things out for myself. You always knew that fine line between 'helping' and 'doing it for me' and you didn't cross it~

23. Thank you for my curves!

24. to keep a mirror by the door

25. all the little magics- pennys above the lintel, wishing on horses, truths about brooms

26. that every day has it's 'low spot' and it is perfectly ok to rest

27. the art of napping!

28. How to appreciate old things and their histories- somehow I absorbed enough that I am able to 'wow' people by knowing the difference between 'Fenton' and 'Westmoreland', and I can spot 'Fostoria' at a 1,000 yards.

29. To never stop trying and how to be patient with people who are reluctant dragons. (I don't know how you lived through trying to teach me how to spell! I would of strangled me cheerfully)

30. To always include everyone, always ask- even if you know they are going to say no. Keep the lines of contact open.

31. Love of stories. In the car, on TV, in books and movies and paintings... everything has a story.

32. How to shop for a bargain, and look for signs of quality

33. I finally LIKE opera!!! (Bluebeards my favorite...) It took awhile, but now I know what you mean~

34. Grace

35. To be open minded, and accept peoples differences.

36. How to handle a crisis without getting all helpless and hysterical. I never knew until I had my own crisises how strong you are....

37. All about birds

38. How to train dogs (Ursula needs work... Max is perfect- just a few days with him and you worked miracles! Can I bring Ursula to visit?)

39. When to push my baby bird out of the nest so he could learn how to fly. He's flying mum! He's flying!

40. That people always remember redheads- we can't rob banks or get away with bad manners.

41. How to forgive.

42. To believe in love, enjoy Romance, appreciate the beauty of it

43. "A good cook never has a messy kitchen"

44. That I can do most anything I put my mind to~

45. Wear sunscreen every day.

and one to grow on: 46. How to tell people you love them, like them and they are part of your soul. I love you!

Wants and Needs

My first free weekend in forever- free as in no school work, no school activities (next weekend is 'spring fest') no company (though i like company- please visit) no boys (though i love my boy, but he has a few weeks of college left)... yay! just me and the mice. and the doggs, but they are outside which is a good thing. (I *highly* recommend the electric fence option- we are all so much happier...)

So today...I get to CLEAN! oolala! seriously, the house has been driving me nuts because I like it tidy and reasonably clean, but there are huge drifts of research books-n-papers all over the studio, it rained all week so the carpets and floors are covered with muddy-dogg prints, the laundry has been neglected and everything needs a good airing out and scrubbing. I am going to put on something old and comfy, call up some things to sing to (am feeling a bit gordon lightfooty today, maybe some neil diamond... yes, I know, but I know all the words!) and clean the crap out of this house. YAY!

In my fantasies of wants-n-needs, I want to fill one wall of the guest room with bookcases so that I can put some of these books on them- the books are taking over the house, but critical, critical.. and make the room into a larger apothecary for all my jars of weird stuff. (right now, beside my computer screen, there is a sweeting jar with rose-hip honey and a vintage bottle of 'Hoffmanns Troplen' that Charles found for me- ) But I haven't the cash for proper bookcases right now, and I need the studio ones in the studio... so it is a desire yet to be fulfilled. (I always look for bookcases at the auction, but they are expensive- everyone wants them. I can get the put-togethers at Wal-mart for $34.00 each, so could outfit the wall for less than $100.00 but I can't afford it...which I am going to happily blame on our pay cut)... My solution is that I am going to put a bunch of my vintage stuff up on the Etsy shop and hope someone will buy it. Otherwise, I will just make do as am champion at that.

Then tomorrow, it's me vs. yarden and another major mowing adventure. Car needs cleaned out as well- it has been home to school crap ... school is cold so I always have jackets and sweaters, which I wear to the car at the end of the day. Then it is a kabillion degrees so I take them off and toss them in the backseat, where they accumulate. It rather looks as if I live in my car as there are heaps of clothes, my rainboots and collection bags, a milkcrate of books (more books! even my car needs bookshelves!) fast food trash (the mango freezes at taco bell are addictive) and a travel mug. I want to get the car all sparkly so I can paint it- I am thinking about a blue rabbit and wild roses, more girly than my other cars. I used to paint blue rabbits all of the time... I miss having an artcar, and they have paved the road, the pollen is over, and why not?

Today I am full of wants and needs and hope to have the energy to match them. I'll do what I can and be happy with it- there are no prizes for getting it all done today (and it won't all get done today, I don't have that illusion) but in the meantime I'm going to have a rockin' good time doin it! YAY!

Gypsy Bag

My rag-tag gypsy bag... it has something inside of it, but I don't remember what it is, exactly. And it doesn't matter in the least. What does matter is that it is big and bright and cheerful, has long red fringe and is ready for adventure~ kinda like me. hum. never thought of it like that before, self-portrait as a ragbag...baglady...raghag.. all of which are thoroughly acceptable.

Dreams last night of record players and weddings (don't get excited. it was a dream, not reality. doubly proven by the presence of Lila from the Angel series- not someone I should want at my wedding, unless I wanted a very serious prenup agreement. If you don't know the series, Lila is one of the devil's lawyers...) and I dreamt about Afghan hounds. Barbie had adopted one, it was a puppy, tiny with all this hair- the hair was all reddish gray, like my hair. I adopted one that looked like Ursula, if you can imagine a long-haired Ursula....dream ended with me filling out an application for something, and I was wishing I had my grades from this semester to add to it...

Dreams are confusing sometimes, and I know it isn't nearly as interesting to read about other peoples than to have them yourself. But I love my dreams, dream every night, usually remember them and talk about them even if I do bore people to death. (Hey, I'm a teacher- its my job to be professionally boring) Like the gypsy bag though, they are bits and pieces of this and that strung together, making up a whole with who-knows-what inside. Mystery. Magic. Romance. or just some shiny-pretty things that found there way here...

Rest

Short post today again- tomorrow will be better- promise! but i finally wrapped up classes at ECU, all the ap stuff is posted and for the first time in forever I have *free time* (if you don't count the house being a disaster, no milk for coffee, and a hugemongous thunderstorm).

all i want to do is sleep, and so that is exactly what I am going to do.

Ciao~!

'hEaring'

Today I *was* supposed to go to the audiologist at 4- but with all the shenanigans yesterday, I have to stay after school today for a meeting. Reschedual, I must.

and everything is uber busy, so a short post- maybe more later, after I finish the ap stuff.

but they say a picture is worth a thousand words, and all that good stuff, so here is something I made a bit back, all about ears and fortune. I quite like it now, but I don't remember where I put it...

Cupid

This was at the last auction- it's not mine, but I do have a picture! Darling cupid, mischievous as ever... doing it's cupidy-best here with this romance~ gotta love a man who makes your nasty smelling mouse-infested stove go away! Yay! No more buzzards in the yard... (funny, they didn't come for the bone rack out by the shed, but smell of mouse apocalypse got their attention... isn't it great to live in the country?)

So today there was a bomb threat at school, which meant we all stood in the field for a hour until they sent us home. Lucky we avoid the heavy downpours that came later, and the bugs weren't to bad, and apparently the bomb was bogus. All this adds up to me getting to have a small nap, being able to rewrite the paper, unlock exams and look up scary AP stuff, work on that. Rather annoying though because we need the class time and everyone missed lunch. Of course there is no other solution to missing lunch except for going to the Mexican bakery and getting that tasty-hot bread sandwich thing for under a dollar...beats mcdonalds by a million yards- it's homemade bread with sesame seeds, all fresh and hot with ham, cream cheese and peppers inside. About the size of a small subway sub, but TONS of yummy cheesey goodness...

and yeah, I left the camera in my desk, so therefore the older picture. I really like this cupid though. I should be using this time to focus and work on the rewrite...but it would be kinda nice if the man stopped by...after all, it's not safe to use a computer during a thunderstorm, right?

Puff

Dandelion, make a wish. (I wish some magic fairy would come along and do all my king-work so I could get other stuff done... I need an army of clones)

Anyway, is down to the wire- finishing up a presentation final for class (45 slides and counting- it's the images that hurt tho- they were all on Data so I have to reshoot them...but I forgot to charge the batteries...doom. doom.)
re-write the anatomy paper, get the snowflakes through their online final exam and do the ap formatting. Plus clean up prom crap, teach my classes and whatever else that needs
done...stupid mouse-stove-crisis cost me time...

But whining never got anyone anywhere now did it? Nope, nope, nope. Off to work I go~

MayDay

I *did* celebrate on May Day- despite the mouse issues (btw the stove is now outside and *still* oozing puddles of ick. I swear vultures are circling my house....)

Anyway, Mayday and I cleaned out my hearth, got out my new cauldron (I *finally* have one! It is new...a 'stewpot'... but it is cast iron, heavy and just the perfect size for my fireplace. Suits my witchy image well). I filled it with flowers from the yarden- I was amazed at how many things I have in bloom right now- so for fun, a list:

Roses: red, yellow, pink, Iris: the purple, and a dark burgundy, Mock Orange, Honeysuckle, Phlox, Carnations, Freesia, Buttercups, Wood sorrel, Shamrock, Black Medic, White Clover, Spider wort, Lady Baltimore, White violets, Rosemary, Fleabane, Azaleas, Datura, Wisteria, skull cap and blue-eyed grass. Abundance.

Candles: pink for love (I keep hoping) green for prosperity, white for clarity. Pink salt, white salt, gold magnetic powder, pink concha from the bakery and sweet muscadine wine from the vineyard. A sweetening jar with honey and rosehips, wishes written on pink paper. Beautiful, happy spring!

These little personal rituals mark the seasons, is my way of saying thankyou to the world for all of its abundance, for asking for what I need, would like to have. Clarity to see clearly, to not be blinded by illusions of what people think I should be- but to see clearly what I am. Love because I do want love- of an equal, without being second-guessed by everyone and everything, love without conditions or restrictions, love with accompanying freedom to be myself and recognition of the other as themselves. Prosperity for the material world, so that I can make-do, have enough to help others, keep the house from tumbling down, go on adventures. Prosperity not just in money, but in thought and kindness, deed and action- good spreading to all.

Murphy's Mouse~

*Warning!* graphically icky- do NOT read if squeamish, eating breakfast or easily disturbed. Just run off and be glad you are not me.....

SO, back to dead mouse story. Come home after work- and side trip to Wal-mart for Ozuim, which is this expensive spray that supposedly kills-all-smells (they use it in the icker places in hospitals, funeral homes)... of course, it lasts for one second then back to regular dead mouse oder. ew ew ew. I turn on the exhaust fan, turn on the ac (thinking to circulate the air) sit back and *try* to concentrate. Charles came over, wouldn't even let him inside it stank so bad.... vowed that I would get up first thing in the morning and- despite papers to write, finals to complete- go on a full-on-offensive dead-mouse-hunt.

Later, I'm happily avoiding working by surfing around the internet, when I smell a slightly different offensive smell. This is more like a on-fire smell, so I assume the exhaust fan is overheating. Turn it off...notice smoke ... blow out candle. Smell is worse, and there is smoke with no candle...slight popping/staticy noise... huh. Stove hasn't been on in days..... huh. To be on the safe side, I flip the breaker- sure enough the noise stops. OK. Look under the stove top again, nothing. GOOD GOD the smell is WORSE!!!! how can this be possible????? (I am not being theatrical. Max is doing his gagging thing and they are whining to be let out. Out they go)

I move the stove out away from the wall, sure this time that dead-mouse is in the outlet, like the last one. No.... there is this disgusting PUDDLE of fresh...ew.... mouse blood and decayed innards. Clean it up, notice a trail leading to the pushed out stove...(Thank-you CSI for my crime-scene skills).... re look all over/in stove. The blasted thing is INSIDE the motor or heater or whatever you call it. The sealed in part... think, oh. ok. Will deal with this is am.

This morning there is ANOTHER puddle of ew dripping down, the smell is a thousand times worse, I don't know how to take off the back of the stove, thinking that their is mouse-hell in there... they apparently crawled up into a nice cozy mouse condo... then somebody chewed something and Apocalypse Mouse. There might be hundreds of thousands of millions of roasted mousies in there. There is NO WAY I am opening that.

So what do I do? (Suggestions please!) Option one is somehow opening that, cleaning out the ew. I'm pretty tough, I could take it...but it wouldn't be pleasant. Option two is ditching the stove. Tempting, as I never cook anyway, and the whole burning-smell thing isn't a good omen as far as stove-safety goes, as well as the ew factor for cooking in a mouse-a-torium. ... but ... that means that eventually I will have to buy a new stove. doable but not-on-the-agenda money wise (since last fall I have had to replace the vacuum cleaner, rug cleaner, washer, lawnmower-twice, dvd player and computer) Third option is to do nothing, not use the stove and hope stinky mouse smell goes away. While this is the laziest option, I do like to breathe and gee whiz kids, I don't want to be known as the teacher-who-smells-funny (I'm imagining the scent seeping into my skin even as I type.) The horror! The agony! The EW EW EW EW WHAT DO I DO?

At the very least, Stove goes OUTSIDE today. (and no, I'm not going to ask Charles to help. You don't ask someone that you are creating boundaries with to rescue you at every turn. I don't need any nights in shining armor, just a ton of disinfectant and a new stove).

Stink-Mouse

It's May-day. Where the house is supposed to be clean, bright and full of flowers. Maypoles, Maybaskets, Maywine~ spring and happy and sweet, sweet.

Instead, my house REEKS of dead-mouse. So last night I went on a dead-mouse hunt.... not in the cabinets, behind or under the fridge, behind or under the stove...from which it seems to come from... so I took apart the stove (ew. not recommended. it's tricky and my so-called-clean stove that I never use- remember the hate-to-cook part- is not so clean....ew.) Anyway, no dead mouse.

I *did* find a hole in the baseboard, and can only assume our decaying friend is in the wall. Happy. Joy. I am NOT taking the wall down. It takes about 1-2 weeks for the body to skeletonize enough to stop reeking... can I come live with you?

Seriously, even the dogs are grossed out. When I forced Max to come inside last night, he was just alike a teenager forced to change a catbox.... elaborate sneezing, shaking of the head, coughing and looks of disgust...then he ran off and hid under the bed. Bear is not-so-much disgusted, but even she doesn't want to be in the kitchen or studio, hung out elsewhere last night. So if one small mouse causes such stink, how in the world do serial killers put up with the smell? good god... Now I've worked with dead-things before- in the labs- and skeletons don't bug me in the least- but that was all nice and sanitary and all of our dead-things had been frozen. It's been over 80 degrees here, hotter in the house during the day I imagine...accelerates decay. Hopefully that means that mr. mouse will hurry up and turn into dust in less than a week... in the mean time, it's good for the diet.

Odd aside- did you know that during the 1950's and 60's they made child sized gas masks that looked like Mickey Mouse? Creepy.