turn of the year

It is the end of the year, and we are home safe... time to say good bye, recoup and begin again. Transition.

It is fitting that the year ends with the excess of Christmas- lights, feasting, gifts- time off and visits. Abundance, then movement into the 'clean' season... when all of the holidays are packed away, everything seems simpler, cleaner, clear and it's easier to be determined. I never minded packing away Christmas for that reason- and for years it has been my tradition to pack it away on New Years Eve, ready for a fresh start.

Today is gray and wet, winter in the south. It's not that terribly cold, though it is supposed to become so tomorrow. It's just a soft slow day where I'm drifting from one thing to another. The manz is back from the auction house, is messing about with lightbulbs (piggytail lights he calls them) and other manz-type-chores. I'm writing, thinking about making coffee- I'm awake but feel like I'm dreaming this last of the year away. That's ok, it's a good day for it. Happy New Year's everyone- tomorrow we start afresh!

Right Way Ring and the Birthday~

The ring again, this time on the hand the right way~ with the wedding band closest to the heart. I love it, never guessed to expect it.... keep watching it sparkle.

So, it's my birthday and today I am 46. Imagine. I can't, I feel younger- much younger- in attitude, like I never quite grew up completely. In my mind I'm 10 years behind, and should be 36.... but I'm not. Tis ok as I expect to live a very, very long time- I still have lots to do with my life.

I like lists for birthdays, so here is my list of 46 bits of miscellaneous information about me: (it's ok to be self-centered on birthdays- like a gyroscope or centrifuge centering yourself helps to find the balance, and is needed at least once a year....)

1. I love my husband ~ he is creative, handsome, kind, smart, funny, interesting and makes me think...among other things.

2. I love my kid, and I trust him to find his way in the world. Growing up is hard to do.

3. I like doggs more than cats, but I have learned to love Turello (Squirt)

4. I sometimes feel guilty for not spending enough time with the doggs.

5. I love to drive, I just *go* someplace when I am travelling.

6. As much as I love to drive, I have learned to let the manz drive- and surprisingly I don't get sick.

7. I hate talking on the phone except to Mother, Melissa, and my sisters.

8. I am lucky enough to have had a best friend for years, a friend that has seen me through marriage, divorce, bad relationships, moving, falling in love and marrying again. Even though I've had many meltdowns, she remains loyal : )

9. My favorite drinks are: coffee, sweet tea with lemon, hot tea, water, diet tonic water (which is icky to the rest of the world), whiskey, dark 'bread' beer and manz-made blender drinks. Sometimes a coke-in-a-can.

10. I eat to much... sometimes because I am stressed, thirsty, bored- but mostly just because I love food and it tastes so damned good!

11. Except I dislike: jello, green foamy punch, chitlins, cracklins and cheetos. Everything else is pretty much fair game. (the only exception being Barbie's Cranberry wine salad, which is jello based but tasty none-the-less)

12. I fight with my weight in a passive-aggressive manner. In my mind, I look a certain way- but the scale says otherwise. I would like to be thinner- like 60 lbs thinner- giving it another go this year but I'm not going to let it make me crazy. When I diet I dream about food...

13. I believe in ghosts.

14. I never thought I'd ever have a relationship again, let alone be married. The manz is a constant blessing every day.

15. I never spell the word 'surprise' right- I spell it 'suprize'... because I think it deserves to have a prize in it.

16. I love being in school again.... I'm going to miss it when I graduate in May.

17. I worry about student loans, even though I pretend I don't... I trust luck and talent to find a way to pay them off someday... and the education is worth it. All will be well.

18. I remember my dreams and tell them to someone (usually the long suffering manz) every day.

19. Sometimes I talk in my sleep.

20. I would be lost without my sketchbook- I have somewhere around 39 or 40 of them now, take it with me everywhere I go. I wonder what will happen to them when I am gone... (if I live as long as I plan to, and continue at the rate of about 3 per year, that is 54 x 3 or 162.... which means I'll be leaving approximately 200 sketchbooks behind...)

21. My digital camera is a favorite toy- it goes with me everywhere.

22. I love the internet, computers, netflix, email, blogs, all my web pages...

23. I have way to many passwords and numbers in my head.

24. I like getting paid once a month because I am not good with money. That way I pay all the bills first off and am thus forced to budget the rest. I don't live extravagantly, I just don't pay attention.

25. I really want that elephant (the rhino will do) from White Lake.

26. I can't stand my hair when it is short- I am growing it out....

27. I dream about Daddy lots- mostly just going out to dinner with him and mom. In my dreams his heaven is a restaurant with good service.

28. I like my sisters. (I love them too!) but what I mean is that I think they are fantastic cool women who are smart, funny and interesting. Our lives make good stories.

29. I love facebook because it has helped me to discover lost friends and family, to reconnect with people from school and to finally get over high-school angst.

30. I can't go a day without making things. If I don't make something every day, something is very wrong.

31. I love teaching, but I hate telling people how to behave. If I didn't have to deal with behavior in school, my job would be perfect. As it is, it is almost perfect.

32. Every time I go to the doctor, they measure me at a different height (yes, I take off my shoes). There is a 3" variable, and I try not to slouch, and it is inconsistent (I'm not growing or shrinking, it just flexes up and down every time)

33. If I wasn't an art teacher, I would make a good: doctor, forensic pathologist, long-haul truck driver, armchair detective, illustrator, book-store owner, museum curator, actress

34. If I wasn't an art teacher, I would make a lousy: maid, flight attendant, super model, vet, spell-checker, policeman, accountant, investment banker, salesperson, driver's ed trainer

35. I love my mother- she taught me how to be an artist, how to *see* the world instead of just looking at it. To live life as an experience, a story, not just a daily grind.

36. The most risky thing I do is to explore abandoned places. Usually rural houses and old schools, and yes- I'm always careful. I don't know why I am so fascinated with these places, but I love them, visually, their stories, even the way they smell.

37. My other favorite smells are: polyurethane, paint, leather, horses, lavender, ginger, bergamont, 'outside', tea, coffee and the manz pillow.

38. The smell of a new car always makes me sick.

39. Spiritual, not religious. I have a pagan heart.

40. I like old things better than new things. I think objects have personality and spirit, and some things are just meant to belong to some people.

41. I am an Oscar that tried to be a Felix. (Sometimes my Felix self pops out and I 'red something up'.... that restores order and makes it all clear)

42. If I know an animal dies in a movie, I won't watch the movie. I don't watch the Kentucky derby anymore either.

43. I love my life.

44. If I could travel to anywhere, I would choose to drive from here to California, then back up to Maine. That would be the best, and I could visit people and places along the way....

45. My favorite city is New Orleans, followed by Savannah and San Fransisco.

46. I wouldn't trade being me for anything- my ever after is turning out pretty darned happy!

He's at it again!

That Turkey Whisperer.... today he summoned up a Tom Turkey with a whole flock of guinea hens... I know that some folks eat turkey at Christmas, but honey, isn't it supposed to be cooked?!?

Merry Christmas!!!

Twas the morning of Christmas and all through the house-
Not a creature was stirring..... except Charles, who was up at 5 am getting Christmas started! He made coffee, let the doggies out, then woke me up... we watched a Christmas special (starring Rusty the Reindeer, the lesser known brother of Rudolph).

Then we woke up the boy, all snuggled in bed with the doggies (we let them back in)

Time for the Christmas Cuddle! Doggs and kitty, saying good morning... they got to open their presents first. Max ran off happily with his boney, but Bear was kinda clueless and more interested in the cats toys- flutter balls with feathers. Finally she got the idea and went off to the boy's room with her bone...

We took turns opening presents, starting with our stockings then moving on.... Grendel opened boxes of spices and ramen noodles, a crock pot for school (get the hint boyo?), his keyboard and programming book... then Charles told him to go unplug the lights. On the porch Santa had left the long-awaited puppy dogg chair!

The manz stocking was full of manz snacks- pistachios and licorice, and a sheriff's badge because there is a 'new sheriff in town' laying down the law! Movies from the boy, a red polo and a life is good shirt from me, and a painting of White Bear Whittington. Love the manz!

Must admit that my Christmas was the best- tea kettles from the boy, and the clever manz had a series of poem-cards that lead me on a scavenger hunt all around... things tucking in gourds, beside the mountain bear, hidden on the tree itself. Scarf and gloves, tights, gum, super 77 and new modpodge.... then the big surprise! Hidden in a bear ornament, the ring! Yay! Totally unexpected, beautiful, perfect.....

Just finished the manz-made breakfast, eggs with cheese, potatoes, hot sausage (that survived the great sausage caper of 2009.... three of my students were caught attempting to steal a truck load of sausage on Wednesday...) hot coffee. delicious.

This is the best Christmas- home with our little family, everyone close and having fun, loving each other. Later we will go over to Charles's parents house for dinner, call everyone that is far away, relax at home... the important thing is that we have each other, love each other and are making new traditions of our own. Here's to the first Christmas- may there be many, many more!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

I married a (W)rapper!

Yo, hohoho dawgs! Wazzup? Did you know that I married a wrapper? Yep, and I am so glad that I did! Now, this wrapper is the bling-less kind who drives a big old Esmeralda bus instead of a limo, whose crib is a tumble-down-but-steadily-improving cottage, whose baby's mama is only mama to a cat (and a couple of doggs and the boy).....

Here is the manz himself wrapping presents with precision and an abundance of tape. Everything is precisely cut and folded, taped on most all edges with carefully coordinated wrapping paper- different designs for each person. A production involving gradual movement from the chair to the floor, acquisition of additional roles of scotch tape, and the occasional under layer of duct tape to secure the boxes. Perfection.

My presents on the other hand, for all of my artistic skill and training, tend to be lumpy with uneven cuts, an abundance of paper on one side and not enough on the other. I understand the *theory* of wrapping, but I tend to be doing a million things at once and thus.... I cover mistakes with a surplus of bows, ribbons and the occasional home-made snowflake. It's the thought that counts, right?

The Kiss

Kiss the bride! Another wedding photo- and for those of you that couldn't attend, the wedding day story:

It was cold that morning, clear but very cold- we rounded up the boy and headed over to the hotel to meet everyone for coffee and plans. The fellows headed out to home depot in search of the traditional wedding toilet, Grendel and Gabe back to the house to play video games, and the Sisters (Suzy, Barbie, Me and Melissa and Michelle) to Sams... where we snacked happily on samples, acquired the cakes and the flowers and bubbly grape juice for toasting. Then we went over to the dollar store for balloons, and became quite giddy collecting other wedding stuff including a tiara, garter, and clapping hands....

Then we went back over to the auction house, set out the cakes and things, one final check of plans and a quick look around. On to the hotel for the dressing of the bride! In the meantime, the toilet was delivered home (it wouldn't fit in the trunk, so it rode in back-seat splendor)... and the guys did guy stuff like eat lunch, take power naps (or intentional power naps...I don't think that really materialized) and Charles hung out at the auction house with the picture until the last moment...

So far so good, until the dressing of the bride. The underdressing was ok- pantyhose, dress-sausage-shaper thing, makeup and hair.... but the dress itself? fit fine the day before, but acquired a zipper disaster... first it stuck. then it separated. then it got all catywampus off track and refused to do anything at all. Much panicking, a frantic call to Sister Sue and a mad dash to the gas station for safety pins. Head over heels, a thousand safety pins later and it is on, more or less. The shawl is draped around and secured with even more pins.... and then the strap of the left shoe breaks. Ok, can tuck it under and handle. Everything is fine if I don't breathe and stand very still..... during this time manz calls, wondering if everything is ok and where we are (time is approaching and I was supposed to be at the auction house 15 minutes ago...) We assure him that all is manageable, I am not backing out but we might be a teensy bit late..... we arrive- meet Grendel and LC outback...no wedding music. That's ok, Jordan is there and will sing- I'll walk down the aisle to that.... untraditional but doable (seems to be a theme for the weddings)...

Grendel and I start down the aisle- everyone is there- the front pins on the dress give way but that is ok as long as I hold my flowers up and keep my arms in.....

Looking around- so many people! the regulars, the family, friends, students- current ones and some from back in my first year of teaching, a few unfamiliar faces that look puzzled (what is a wedding doing at an auction?!?) but happy. The preacher in his black robes, Christmas sweaters, Santa caps, Ariel's golden sparkly evening gown, Neena's explosion of hair and tattered white dress.... Grendel all formal and nervous, Charles looking polished and handsome and just a little frozen in place (we do have a great deer-in-headlights picture of the moment). The ceremony begins- it's traditional and somehow we make it through- a bit teary eyed, and I laughed (I always laugh) but it's meaningful and fun and forever and just grand. The kiss, applauded by the clappers, and it is sealed.

Back down to aisle to congratulations and cake, huge pot of vegetable soup. Posing for photos (send me some! hint hint) shaking hands, hugging. Jordan running around trying to make us a video diary, a concept which was apparently unfamiliar to most people as they didn't know what to do, or did nothing- tis ok, we will cherish what is on it- whatever that may be (haven't seen it yet- not edited.... waiting is the hardest part).... I am being friendly while becoming ever more worried about losing my dress. It's ok. Charles is more nervous now than before the wedding I think, scooped up for photos, trying to get the marriage licence squared away (we had a bad panic moment after the wedding when we couldn't find it- then realized that the preacher was supposed to keep it....) I hug everyone, laugh alot, babble about my dress (I'm the type that tells everything when I'm nervous) have fun. Wedding presents- sheets, a crockpot, photoframes, gift cards, two wedding albums (both are white and fluffy, one is in Spanish) and embroidered towels. Our beloved wife and husband mugs, the toilet. A big glass and iron decorative thing. (actually we opened things later, at home- they are snuggled around the Christmas tree, except for the mugs and crockpot which we are already using)....

Auction goes smoothly- we talk most of the time, watch the manz work, draw a bit (but not much, drawing skills way off tonight) win $50.00. Ada is given the painting, everyone seems to like it, she is touched and cries. Finish up, and the car is decorated with paint and ribbons, magnetic signs and a flag which blew away on the way home.... it is late, and cold, and we are very very happy on this the first night of our new lives. Thank-you, one and all.

First Week!

It has been a whole week of married bliss! Yay! I know you thought I fell off the world- no blogs for a week and after such a big occasion- well, truth is, I did fall off the world. Whoosh!

But in a good way- we 'honeymooned' Sunday and Monday.... Christmas shopping in Wilmington on Monday, and out to our first 'married folk' dinner at Texas Roadhouse (best baked sweet potato ever!). The rest of the week was finishing up school before holiday- Night of the Arts on Thursday-and I just kinda collapsed from over doing, which required lots of naps a few blender drinks and endless episodes of 'Deadwood' and 'Northern Exposure'...... Manz was a bit worn out to around the edges, but has been working busily on the bathroom floor (it looks great), Christmas lights, the auction and for cranky Miss Ann. I did finish up school and get my grades back- straight 100's- YAY! and now it is time for Christmas Holiday.

And me begging all of you- if you have wedding pictures, *please please please* email them to me so I can send them to Mother. Neena's camera messed up and she lost hers (and cried), LC is supposed to finish the video on Monday (but I can be patient- it is her first Christmas as a single mum and I know how that feels...) But I know Mother is dying to see some photos- and because I was the bride, I didn't take them. (not that coordinated). I do have a few that I am mailing her on Monday.... with some editing. (My butt vs. my dress... the dress lost. But that is another post)

anyhoo, we are happy happy married up folks now- it still feel like a dream, but I love it! (ok, butterfly mind of mine says "mention that last night you dreamt that you were a superhero whose costume was made entirely of minimarshmellows". And I will leave you today with that vision of loveliness....

Today is the DAY!

Here we are on the night before! TODAY is the day- it's not even 5 yet and we are both awake and excited- and received the first present of the day: a lovely big mousie from Turrello (his FIRST mousie!) Yay! (we are not keeping it though- after it was thoroughly admired it was tossed into the yard).

Yesterday was busy but fun- I finished that painting, we went to get our marriage licence but they were closed for a Christmas party... so we wandered around Burgaw (which was fun) then went out to Charles' folks house, had lunch and acquired coolers.

Home, cleaned up a bit- our to dinner with everyone at the Mexican restaurant. Sue and Tom, Barbie and Tom, Grendel...Melissa, Michelle, their mom Marilyn, BJ and Margo and Gabe. Huge happy crowd of salsa eating people (ask Charles about the international sign for 'bring guacamole and sour cream').

Charles and the Toms and Grendel went after dinner to ice the drinks and finish prepping the auction for the wedding... Melissa, Michelle and I (and a very reluctant Gabe) went to get my eyebrows done, Barbie and Sue went off to talk at the hotel, and Marilyn/Margo and BJ went *somewhere* (involving shopping and something about 'lap dances'...hum....i'm guessing they had the bachelor party for us!) Then we came home and both fell sound asleep in our chairs while watching Deadwood.

Today is the day! (I keep saying that) I'm so excited! I don't care anymore if the house is clean or my website for school works, I don't care about anything except doing this! We are getting married- for real- really real- and moving on to our version of happy ever after. I'm head over heels in love, happier than I've ever been and ready to rumble! I love you manz, let's go!

Whoo Hair

Neena and Ariel have whoohair...(I'm calling that it because I am not sure what else to call it) but it is cool. and creative. and Neena's smells like candy because she used grape kool-aid to color it.

It's made of wool spun (Ariel can spin! yay!) from angora bunnies (and maybe some from Pete, the dead lama) and tied into their hair so that they can have all the fun of dreadlocks without the commitment.

Actually, I love it- it's fun, creative and why not? If I was a teenager again I hope that I'd be brave enough to do things like this (I was not a brave teenager, aside from the forays into Bellydance and Bagpipes) It's fun to watch the kids play with their appearances like this- the hair, the clothing- it's just fun. To often we worry about how others think of us, how we should look to be appropriate for our age, and we forget to play. To wear our 'holy' jeans (the manz favorite pair is held together only by love and good thoughts), our aprons (my favorite), whatever~ of course we have to temper things on a daily basis (functioning as adults after all) but sometimes- often- i just want to be me.

Today I was looking all teacherly- black skirt, gray sweater set, hair up.... then I switched my sweater for my painting hoody, covered the skirt with my big messy apron, and the hair is slowly escaping.... even though I had my apron on all day, the skirt has white blurbs on it where paint magically seeped through (that apron has so much paint on it that it might as well be plastic). But I worked hard on the painting today and I'm feeling much better, much more calm. (of course the undying admiration of students is good for the ego. they are so easily amazed, which builds my self-confidence, which helps me to paint faster/better) whew. and my studio stuff is safely shipped off to ECU, I checked on the marriage license, and looked up flowers on the web. ($10.00 at foodlion vs $89.00 at the florist. For 15 minutes and a toss- I'm going cheap)

So tonight, home and the famous man-sketti (and we will no longer discuss my turkey-based-fiasco of yesterday) grading the college kids, maybe cleaning around some. Having fun. Christmas lights. Starting to relax a bit... here's hoping!

Painting~

Part of a really bigish picture that I have been painting on all day- taking a blog break, then right back to work. Of course I have waited until the last minute, of course it is due next Saturday, of course I am getting married (YAY) next Saturday.....have a house to clean, shopping to do, not to mention finals for ECU, grading board posts and- oh yeah- my job.

Anyway, I forget how much I love to paint and how horrible I am at deadlines. and commissions. worry worry worry especially when people have to resemble reality, everyone is going to see it and be judging it (and hopefully not throwing stones at the artist), I have to make deadline (I always do, but that sometimes means keeping odd hours and working without end).... argh. WHY do I do this to myself??? Right now when I want to "relax and enjoy the wedding thing" I am flogging myself over this painting. Oh well, no cure for it except to suck it up and get it done, hon.

The wedding is only a week away! Actually, this time next week I am expecting to be clinging to the ceiling in anticipation- I am so excited! not to mention happy, thrilled and several other things (including thirsty. I am always thirsty lately- blaming it on heating.) Sorry about fussing (whining or whatever about this painting) ...I totally take responsibility for starting it late, but I have to vent somewhere.... and I'm not in a bad mood, actually I'm quite giddy. Which makes life interesting~

The manz is working so hard- of course he has a kabillion job-things to do, plus he is knocking out the living room floor, doing the bulk of the home-chores and decorating like mad for Christmas (the yard glows at night! lovely, bright, fun)....

Deep breath. This is our forever- I am so excited, want to be a good wife, do a good job, keep a happy home for our little family. My fingers are crossed to wish us luck, for everyone can use some. (and wouldn't winning the lottery be nice for a wedding present? of course, I still have to get this painting done, but hey~ )

Snow Bears

It's pouring down rain, and the man is outside lighting the latest bunch of Christmas lights- all along the eves of the house, up in the dogwood tree. They shine so warmly through the rain and fog- the house is cozy, smelling of crockpot food and potatoes. It's good to be home.

He retrieved all of his treasures from storage- boxes and boxes of bears, tubs of ornaments, a big tree and lots of lights. Deep inside all of this he found the bear snowglobe- he told me about this snowglobe long before we started dating at the first Christmas auction I ever went to. (Little did I dream that I would marry the snowglobe guy! I thought he was flirting with Melissa not me...sometimes I can be oblivious)

Anyway, it is a treasure. Bears and a little train that goes around the inside (look close, you can see the locomotive), it plays music and is all sparkly. The yarden is sparkly to- the manger is glowing, and if you look close in the background, you can see the white tree on the porch. Comfortable and festive, homey and fun and welcoming the season. It makes me happy that he is so excited about Christmas (and the Wedding!) We both go around alternating between glowing happy and worrying about punch (to punch or not to punch? I vote no- it's messy. And I have no clue how much to make, and I'd rather not worry about it- canned drinks make everyone happy), where to put the cake table and why the preacher hasn't called. (argh! but tis ok, if he backs out, we'll think of something...) But right now I have a heap of work due for college tomorrow (I hate deadlines. Not good at them at all) and I intend to 'cozy in' with my family, indulge in some crockpot food and watch the rain. I want nothing more in the world than to be right here, right now.

Tis the Season!

Tis the season to haul out the holly and fa la la... the manz has been decking the halls with all sorts of lights- a proper extravaganza! It is the first time I have had a full blown extravaganza- these pictures are just the work in process. Since then a full size tree has been added to the porch- with white lights- and a full size nativity set will be in the yard (it belonged to Charles's grandparents) and mysterious plans for icicle lights. The more the merrier!

It has been so long since we've had a proper Christmas holiday- not that others were not nice, Grendel and I had lovely little Christmases- but there was not this full blown excitement that I haven't experienced for years. Charles loves Christmas and is in charge of all the decorations (the living room furniture is covered in strands of lights being tested and sorted)- we sorted through my decorations and he is going to retrieve his from storage. In the meantime, it's school and finals, and wrapping up projects... getting MARRIED in less than two weeks! (WHOOHOO! I am sooooo excited!) and all the other plans for the house, company and the holidays. Crazy busy but very fun- I'm painting at school, doing homework at home, he is busy busy busy and even the boy is in the spirit. What makes this holiday season different from so many is not that we have money (we don't!) or time (not a spare second) but that we are having such fun being together and being a family. It's wonderful and exciting and something I never imagined - this full fledged enthusiasm for everything! We are living the extravaganza!

Gobble Gobble Gobble!

Thanksgiving at Barbies! We all went down- that is everyone but Turrello- on Wednesday and returned Friday. Bear and Max rode well, even though Max was quite dramatic and coughed the whole way down (was leaning from the wayback into the front hard enough to choke himself). On the way back Boy took pity on him and let him ride in the backseat on his lap... that was ok because all of the food in the backseat was gone.

Thanksgiving was wonderful- traditional enough but different enough to be exciting. Michael came and told us of his adventures in broken elevators, Miss J came, and Grendel managed to stay awake through dinner. (After dinner though there was a severe case of napping that was caught by most menfolk). Anyway, Barbie and I talked the whole time, wedding plans and the like, while Tom and Charles did guy stuff... including going on the great 'quest for the shopvac' at 5am on Friday. We all went to see the Christmas lights at the Jame's Island Park, extravaganzas that included some very unusual wildlife..... (sometimes you just have to wonder what these Christmas light people are thinking- do they do these things on purpose or where they just not paying attention?)

So ~ the top 10 things I am thankful for:

1. Finding my forever love

2. Family- old, new, and our little family of manz and boy, doggs and kitty.

3. Friends- who make me laugh and who go on adventures with me.

4. That mostly friends and family are the same! : )

5. School, because it makes me think, teaches me to work hard, helps me grow.

6. Work, because I love my kids, love my job even when I grouch about it.

7. Material things- I know this isn't supposed to be on this kind of list, but I am deeply thankful for our beloved tumbledown cottage, our cars, our heaps of stuff, enough money to get by and pay the bills, food and indoor plumbing.

8. Creativity, talent and imagination enough to be able to make something new everyday.

9. All of the good things and all of the small things- the sun, the sky, the sea, the wind and the rain, the fields and the forests.

10. Being comfortable in my skin- I like who I've turned out to be, and that's a good thing. I like you to, and that's even better!

Christmas at Twilight~

which has nothing to do with vampires, but apparently *does* have the offering of tasty tasty ostrich snacks...or something. Actually this was our first family holiday event last Saturday, and it was fun! Our little town closes down the main street area about 2, and until 8 that evening there is a craft/art show, vendors, music, old cars, lights, stores all decorated and offering cookies, a living nativity, Santa Claus, model trains and a tour of the Blessing House. All three of us went after dinner, when it was dark, and walked all over town. Of course Charles knew everyone one- they were all talking to him, patting him on the back, congratulations! A few former students of mine were there- their own children in tow- and a couple of teachers that I worked with long ago. Grendel didn't know anyone- but I'm sure he enjoyed the abundance of pretty girls : ) and the delicious aroma of roasting ostrich...

We had a good time and it started the holiday mood up right- I have been so busy, busy, busy that I often forget to s-l-o-w down and enjoy the season and my family. This is one of the most magic times of our lives right now- getting married forever- and I want to enjoy that feeling of being head-over-heels happy. Which I am!

Of course, my brain has other ideas, and come 3 o'clock this morning I was wide awake... and after a bit, off to Walmart for baking supplies. The last cookies are almost out of the oven- I made the filling for the cranberry/apple pie, peanutbutter cornflake cookies (sound awful but they are fantastic), the manz favorite peanut butter chip, and oatmeal chocolate raisin. Put Martha Stewart to shame I did! Now I have to shower and pack, the manz is taking me to work (bleah. work. bleah) ....then he is going to come home to the boy and the (hopefully) freshly washed doggs (boy-chore)... pack up the car and we are off to Barbies in South Carolina! Gobble Gobble Gobble!

Here's to the Turkey! (I'll pass on the ostrich....though I know it can be quite tasty) (yes, Charles, I have eaten ostrich. Tastes like chicken. Really BIG chicken.)

Wedding CountDown!

The countdown continues! I created a web page for general information- check it out:
Our Auction Wedding.

Grendel's Kitchen

Grendel is home safe and well from SCAD- fetched him back on Friday (spent the rest of the weekend working on school stuff, wedding stuff, commission stuff...and still far behind. I need clones!)

Anyhoo, was taking pictures of his apartment/dorm thing (it's technically an apartment-style-dorm-townhouse-thing with a grocery store on one side, and crackville on the other. They are fenced in and don't go on nightly excursions, which is a good thing)

Back to the kitchen. It was surprisingly clean- as was the bathroom and his room- but the best thing was hanging on the stove. Anyone else remember this tea towel? It was Daddy's and is older-than-god. Well, actually I'm not certain how old it is exactly, but I do remember it in the kitchen at Minno drive and quite possibly Ferndale as well. So that puts it older than Grendel... it was part of the recovered kitchen items that I brought home with me.

Red and black and white, it feels masculine and no-nonsense. Daddy wasn't one for cutsey in the kitchen- keep it simple and practical, at least when it comes to kitchen accessories. Overboard on all possible kitchen machines and gadgets, pots and pans, but towels? Keep them manly, please. No flowers here.

It is somehow comforting to see this towel in Grendel's kitchen. Like a strange blessing from the kitchen-gods, Daddy watching over the serious job of boiling water for Ramen noodles. The occasional making of hamburgers, nuking of frozen delights, forays into other boy-cuisine. I thought I had lost track of this towel- I do loose track of everything lately, and the little things are so important to me- but here it is, safe and well and living a useful life. I bet in all of it's kitchen-towel dreams it never thought it would end up in a dorm in Savannah. And I wonder why Grendel choose that particular towel? We have plenty of random towels, but this is one of two (the other is brownish) that came from Daddy's kitchen. Chances are, if I ask him, he'll just say it was just a towel and no big deal, but I wonder if subconsciously he remembered it being there. Made some sort of connection to it, and to memories of the basement kitchen and Gramps cooking up all manner of wonderful things. A bit of enchantment, a bit of home, a bit of family from long ago. That's nice.

StressTest and Quote of the Day

A sketchbook page from one of my students- right now I am feeling rather empathic with this, so if you don't want to hear me grouch around, skip this page and go watch 'Charlie the Unicorn' or something...

Anyway, the whole feeling of geewhiz, here is my heart- happy now? yeah. Just a compliation of things of the moment- I can't seem to get the last 25 students in my college class graded (25 students = 75 projects- a paper, a creative project and an artist statement). Why? Because I'm a slacker? no... because it is to slow to work on evie (the little computer- her little screen can't handle multiple windows), Sophia, the big computer at home, won't open files until you have scanned them and saved them first (which keeps her from getting sick- these are the same papers/projects which brought in the worm that killed Data), and while the school computer is nice and fast, I am constantly interrupted by this little thing called my job. Thousands of kids who cannot sharpen a pencil without direct instruction.....and "professional learning communities" that we were required to attend today. All of which is important and interesting but I have way to many things to do.....

Grendel called last night and I have to pick him up at SCAD Friday- I do miss him bunches, love him lots but somehow missed the ball that he was coming home just now...his room is full of boxes, art work and is smellier than usual because the doggs have been sleeping in there. We'll figure it out. ....

I'm stressed out about other things to, but that is enough whining on here for today. Not going to stay after school, have things to take care of that won't wait another day (bills, bank, money stuff..ew.) Then going to go home, get straightened out, make some hot tea and either wrestle with grading papers or try to tackle Grendel's room.

My lunch smells funny so I'm not eating it....

But on the bright side, my art 1's were being good for once, and working away. They were just talking when one of them said- during one of those moments of dead silence-

"I think my grandma's a gangsta"

*That* would be an excellent title for something- rap, song, movie.....

'See my grandma hangin in da hood, best listen up and best listen good

She can cook and she's kinda nice, but you cross her ya gonna get iced.

Grandma's dope, she's down with da gang, when she talks, don't say a thang

Best listen up, best listen good, 'cause my grandma's queen of da hood"

(ok, so my rap skills are lacking...but it makes me feel a wee bit better)... and one more thing- later, same class, this little black kid speaks up and says- for no apparent reason- "Man, I wish I had a Ukrainian accent- that's bad ass."

Another day in TitanTown.

First of the season!

It's deer season- and the first of the mighty hunters is successful! Neil got an 8 point on Saturday (it's in the photo he's holding) and shared some deer jerky with me today (yummy!). I am still successfully spoofing all the kids into thinking that I used to be a mighty hunter- I have the antlers to prove it (thanks to the fearless Podlucky).

Seriously, it builds credibility...just like sponsoring the step team and Latin dance build credibility in those populations. I love all the kids mind you, but if they know I am interested in their activities it makes life easier for all of us.

I am not a mighty hunter- I can't even watch a movie where a dog dies without crying. (Manz and I were watching a Western... a Kevin Costner one... and of course, the dog got shot. Of course I cried- not full out crying, just leaking around the edges. Happens every time.) Anyway, while I am not a hunter, I know that without hunting- especially deer- the population would spiral out of control due to lack of natural predators and abundance of tasty food. But I do love to *eat* deer jerky, or roast... or sausage... not to fond of it just plain ground, though it works well in chili. I usually end up with a few treats every year from my mighty hunters- they are appreciated! and I love the antlers....

Didn't have breakfast at home today- manz slept in (he needed it!) so the deer jerky was extra welcome...I think that I also conned the kids into bringing paperplates/cups/utensils for extra credit. Sweet.

Roses~

The beloved man brings me roses from the garden- they are still blooming- and puts them in little vases on the desk. He found the orange vase as a surprise for me- it's simple and beautiful and the exact color of the Jacob's Coat roses. I am loved, and lucky for it.

Right now it feels as if I am chained to this desk- it's Sunday, I've been on the computer all day- he is at work and sometimes that seems like that's all we do...right now there hasn't been time to work on the house, or write my blogs (I do miss it). Don't get me wrong- we have a great life, and it's very busy- we both work hard it's just right now there is no breather. It's nice outside and I'd like to take Max for a walk...but...I have still many many papers and projects to grade for ECU class (paychecks are good things), my studio work that I have yet to begin other than opening the file and doing some sewing, a commission to work on, and my sketchbook assignment. That doesn't sound like a lot, and I've already accomplished some grading, my lessons for this week and importing the 172 photos I took last night...baked cookies, washed some clothes, have dinner in the crock pot, cleaned the bathroom.... but I still feel a mile behind. The race is enjoyable, and I'm not trying to win, but it would be lovely to get caught up!

Still, in all this hubbub he finds time to give me roses~ I must make time to stop and smell them.

Post Note!

Just an addition- for our sketchbook assignment today we had to do a countdown calender- I chose count down to wedding of course. During the course of the presentations, one of the students asked me how old I was... I told them and they were amazed. Actually, they said "Wow. You're 45?!?! You seem really happy for someone that old." Turns out most of the class thought I was in my thirties, (or they were lying through their teeth)...either way, made my day.

Seconded was another teacher who told me that I am always 'glowing' now! Since I've sworn off radioactive milkshakes, it must be love....

Man at Work

The man at work- Sunday morning, making breakfast. He is a major believer in breakfast, every morning it's at least eggs, sometimes sausage and grits as well. He can get fancy with it- adding cheese, or garlic, hot sausage... sometimes left over this and that, it's always good, always filling. mmmmm... I didn't used to like eggs much, now I can't get enough of them. And grits are *always* good.

The shirt Melissa designed for our 'Cheap-n-Easy' presentation at conference- she decided to highlight our husbands- Troy was 'Cheap', and posed all pretty in nothing but a Fez. (don't worry, silhouettes only, his modesty was kept intact). Charles is 'Easy' and laid back in his easy chair... 'man at work'.

Right now I'm at work- it's planning, so I only have three students who talked their way out of another class to hang out in here to work on their sketchbooks- I like to work, love to make art, love the separation between art and money...when I have to make art for money, I get miserable really quick, because money makes me nervous- bad memories from the time of 'create or starve'. no thanks. I'll take a nice steady dependable paycheck, even if it means dealing with my Art 1 devil-children. I love to make art because I love to create things, all the time... if someone wants to do the business of selling it for me, so be it, but I don't want to be dependent on that ever again. I bring this up because I just finished a book 'Creative Time and Space' that was all about how artists manage their time and space while working full time as artists..... I think I would be paralyzed by money anxiety if I was doing just full time art again without a buffer... just the thought is terrifying. I don't need to be rich, but I need to be safe- know what is coming in, what is going out and where it is going. Otherwise I freak out... and that is never a pretty thing. But things keep getting better, and I do have some bread-n-butter art money that will be coming in - I need to totally focus on the commission and get that knocked out. Couple of good days with photo shop, the right paper and I'll be good to go. One thing, nothing takes me long once I get started.....

CatNapping

This is how the manz watches TV. Since Torello is grown enough to have the run of the house (kinda), and Max is stinky enough to be banished from the chair (until bath time), Torello has taken over Manz-lap. He happily perches on the chair and leans over to help me paint, or draw, or sew (he likes painting the best) but when he is all worn out there is nothing like a nice long nap on the manz lap.

We are normally early-to-bed people... nine o'clock finds us yawning, 5:30 finds us bright-eyed and having coffee on the porch (except now it is chilly). This past week though I was flat down with the flu- slept all day Tuesday, went to school Wednesday and Thursday, slept all day Friday after I got home from the Dr's. (they took my head bump off and froze my wart- a fun filled experience all around. So now I am uber-attractive with a big sore spot on my head..can't wash hair until Monday, a nasty blister where the wart was frozen - don't let them lie to you, it HURTS!- and a scruffy bright red cold-nose)...
anyway, last night I finally started feeling better and was wakeful. The movie was playing, I was working on my thesis surrounded by books and evie, chattering away to the manz when I realised that a: it was past 10, b: manz and cat were sound asleep, c: there was this loud combination of snoring and purring that I somehow didn't hear over the TV and my own chattering..... I sushed them on to bed, but I couldn't sleep and ended up working until 2. Felt good, and this morning I am feeling much better (except the head bump is hurting).

All morning this morning we have been making stuff, I've been gluing beads onto one of my sculptures (note: the smell of E6000 does not improve headbump whining) and manz has been shaping vinyl records, creating bowls and flowers and figuring out how to make curls and twists stay when the record is being heated. I tell him he is as much as an artist as I am, but he doesn't believe me- but of course I'm right, he just doesn't know it yet.

Boots

The manz boots. His philosophy is "I like what I like and I stick to it"... if he is as loyal to me as he is to these boots, I know he will be around for a billion years. (and yep, he is that loyal- I know it!)

I'm not sure how long he has had these boots, but they've seen many a road and adventure, I am sure. They are Timberlins (? timberlands? the kind with the tree on the side) and are worn to the stubs. The sole is coming off, there are holes in the leather, but they remain the first choice of the day- they are comfortable, still serviceable (kinda) and he 'likes what he likes'.

Now, lest you think I am neglecting the manz, he does have a brand new pair of boots- not the Timber kind (they have jumped in price since becoming a fashion statement for rappers- go figure) but a perfectly good pair of Craftsman's from Sears. It took some hunting, but they meet all the man requirements- nubuck leather (check), no steel toe (check), not waterproof (check)... that would seem easy, but it is near impossible to find that specific combination. A few weeks ago when Melissa was down- actually the night I got engaged- we went on the great boot hunt in Wilmington. They have slept safely in their box ever since.

Now, I'm not fussing- I know they will be there when he needs them someday, just like he is there whenever I need him. Right now I am home from school with a nasty nasty cold (hopefully not the swine flu- not that I would mind a few days at home, but my kids are between projects and I do have mercy for the subs...the kids can only take so much bookwork in art class before they rebel)... anyway, he is busy keeping me safe and well with long naps, orange juice and bananas, and pumpkin ice cream. I am just moseying around in a nyquil induced haze, kinda paying attention to things then drifting off to sleep for hours, writing long nonsensical emails trying to register for spring classes, looking for this picture of a skeleton key that I *know* is on the computer somewhere, but which is successfully hiding. (I take lots and lots of pictures- I just sifted through several hundred looking for this key- or any key. I take pictures of keys all the time and I just wish I knew where they went!)
Anyway, he just came home from work with the said pumpkin ice cream, and that is exactly what I want for dinner. Cold. cold is good....mmmm.....loves the man, he's a wonder.

All Hallows

Yesterday was Halloween, one of my favorite holidays ever- I have always loved the spooky, the costumes, the excitement and of course, the chocolate. It was the perfect Halloween day- a little cold, dark but not to stormy. Felt like fall and all of our decorations glowed in the gloom.

I went to downtown Burgaw with some of my kids for the festival- we were in the sidewalk art contest. The kids drew a grim reaper and a cleaning witch- just for fun I made the vampire with the 'don't be afraid...get smart take ART!' It reminded me of when I was growing up and we would go down and paint the windows at Glosser Brothers for Halloween... I was so mad the year that my design was chosen then Richie Moore (I still remember his name!) changed it all around. bleah. Well, I have my revenge as an art teacher... and actually, now that I think of it, I kinda did the same thing to Neena yesterday (sorry Neena). See, Josh and his brother were there first, so they began working on Rico's grim reaper drawing. Neena and Ariel showed up an hour late, and I wouldn't let them do Neena's grim reaper (two reapers are one to many, even though Neena's was a female grim reaper) so they changed it into a kitchen witch. In the meantime, I entertained myself with the vampire drawing and another one, 'the discovery of cake'. Not quite sure how I ended up with this- it is based on a 'hungry ghost' cartoon I did in my sketchbook- I was just amusing myself with imagining two aliens landing in a pumpkin patch on Halloween. They somehow come across a cake, and are enthralled with it...eating and eating until their bellies are big as punkins.... it made me laugh and puzzled everyone else, but what is Halloween without a good mystery?

Growing Up

Squirt is growing up- he has evolved from a sweet kitten to a full out 'tweenaged' 'kittykat'. He's bigger, badder- thinks he owns our pillows, our bed, the world. No foot is safe from his attack, and he is spoiling for a chance to get at bear. Thinks he's a big cat, he does.

And a big cat needs a grown-up name. His baby name is Squirt- and he will always be squirt- but he found his real grown-up-tom-cat name this morning. It's Torello.

It came to us when we were watching Crime Story- the cat formerly known as squirt jumped up on Charles in a surprise attack. The manz says "We shoulda named you Torello"...then we started looking at the screen, and darned if the cat doesn't *look* like Torello. Heavy black eyebrows, mustache. Everything black but his bit of white chest (and drawers). And just take a moment, compare his ears to Torello's hat.... yep. That's who he is!

Until I looked it up, I thought Torello was Turrillo. Like the steakhouse. The BEST steakhouse EVER. Daddy and Mother would go there often- it is in Jennerstown. Red white checked oilcloth on the tables, candles in Chianti bottles, rolls wrapped in a napkin. Steak like melted butter it was so tender, and the best salad dressing in the world. (I grew up with *real* Italian dressing from places like Turillo's and Rizzo's... nothing like the bottled kind)...mmmm.... and a bit on the shady side- you could imagine Torello and the G-men sliding up to the bar while Luca plotted evil in the backroom. Just one step away from real live drama...

Full

Is your pitcher half full or half empty? Mine is always to the full side, and cold water is the best. Actually, right now I am simply dying for a cold non-bubbly something... am still at school and it has been a long day, and I think hotel air just drys you out!

It's pouring outside, buckets and buckets of rain, and the Latin dancers are practicing in my classroom so the air is full of music and flying hair. Lovely.

I have been catching up on school work- still have a design to work on tonight or tomorrow am... I am full of ideas- many things to do, to make, to be. I am lucky to have a good life- my beloved waiting for me at home, interesting things to think about and do, a good kid, happy doggs, a home, a kittenkat- family, friends and tomato soup. Except I really don't have tomato soup, I just thought of it all of a sudden. Do you remember eating tomato soup for lunch- Grendel liked his with goldfish in it, I liked mine with grilled cheese sandwiches. mmmmmm....

Conference Craze

Here we are at the conference- not many words but here are some photos! Our messy messy room, pumpkin and candy corn hershy kisses, endless agenda, the phone that just pissed me off (no offence) ,and a yummy frogs legs.

Twins!!

Yesterday was 'Twin' day for homecoming, so Neena and I were twins. Black skirts, black shirts, hair up in chibi buns (she has dyed her hair reddish) and big messy happy art aprons. We got the shoes wrong- she wore chucks and I wore my new combat boots (which are surprisingly comfy even if they are a bit big...but h-e-a-v-y...feel like I worked out yesterday. maybe I should wear them more often!)

Neena and I are quite a bit alike, stubborn, smart, creative, like to eat and a bit messy (no, not me! actually, Neena is a whole lot tidier than I am...I've become quite the Oscar).

I like highschool so much better this time around! Homecoming is fun but frustrating (no I haven't any glitter, poster board, crepe paper but yes, I can make a giant bulldog for the bonfire out of newspaper and masking tape in under an hour).

But enough of that- today I go to the doctor and get my head-bump-thing removed (thank god. It hurts) then conference at Winston Salem until Sunday.... how am I ever going to survive without the manz? No man-made breakfasts and dinners, no hugs... cold motel sheets. Guess I am just going to drown my sorrows in Chinese food and cell phone conversations. You know, I still love to travel, but now I am loving home even better...

No Doubt About It~

It is now obvious whose snacks are whose! Couple of vintage 'Charles' tins from the auction Saturday, cleaned them out and lined them to hold man-food. If I don't see it, I'm not as tempted by it...and it's harder to sneak into them (lids stick a bit...which is good. If I can't get into them, the mouses can't either...but right now I am the biggest mouse in this house!)

Homemade chocolate chip cookies in the cookie tin, Bugles and oreo's in the pretzel tin, Reece's minis in the punkin (twizzlers in the bread pan. Twizzlers are ok- few calories there!) and an apple pie on the top shelf in my pretty fireking pieplate. (I have a new addiction to the goldish fire king- I still love plain white best, but this is unusual and somehow happy)

I remember Charle's cookies and pretzels and chips... and other cookies-in-tins that Auntie Lou kept on top of her cabinets (I am thinking specifically of a really hard kind shaped like windmills). Truthfully, I didn't like them much, always seemed a bit dry... but I do love the Christmas butter cookies dipped in hot tea... I've mostly liked homemade cookies over store bought (except Mint Milano's...not that I refuse store cookies... or any cookie)

Auction Crew and "The Date"

This is the auction crew, just so you know them- live and in-action at the estate auction in Warsaw today. Long auction- 6:30 am set up to finishing up around 4ish....beautiful old Victorian house, built in 1892 (so it's late Victorian, but still). We ended up with a new table and chairs that fit our kitchen (even though the mahogany one is lovely, it is just to big), a wardrobe, and tons of other stuff... including a video of Charles on a pogo stick that I promise to post soon! (it's short, but stunning)

In the picture, left to right, front of dresser is Jenny and Lonnie. Behind is Robin, Ada, Charles (isn't he cute?!?) and Jason. Tiny in the back is Doug and Judy (one of many Judy's.... snack stand is also run by a Judy, and one of the regulars is Judy...) Heaps of Judy's.

And now, what you have been waiting for: the date. We will be getting married on December 12 at 4:00 pm. at the Auction house. We figured that it is the second time around for both of us, so why not make it fun? It's very casual- *everyone* is invited, come as you are, dress for a small-town auction. No worries, no fuss. We will have cake, and it's the Christmas auction so there will be soup and the like as well. Just simple fun and everyone is invited. Grendel will give me away (or sell me to the highest bidder...which had better be Charles and not Doc) (no offense intended Doc- but you do like to run a bid!) We will be honeymooning at home in our little cottage (Grendel, you must go to Kyle's for the night. And NO to all my students who want to camp out at our house). So don't expect a big white dress, sparkly everything and bubbly-- expect a really good time with real people and good friends, maybe a bargain or two. Hope to see you there!!!!

Auction website: http://www.brownandthigpenauctions.com/