are sometimes over whelming. Distracting. A corner of the studio- coyote head sculpture, the apothecary, journals (I have 36 sketchbooks and counting) baskets, my alchemical toys, brushes and markers and books-for-research- and basket of art in progress... the monster pillow...basket of bills, the fireking teacup with a lovely grey marble sphere in it... stuff. It's in this corner because Grendel came home last night, so everything is exiled from the big desk- that is his space.
House has suddenly morphed from quiet to chaos (in a good way) Pepper and Liz are here, there are stacks of empty pizza boxes, I think Fitz was here last night... Dirty laundry from college in the wash, suitcases of electronics, big portfolio of new art. Grendel has gotten really good- his biggest problem with art is confidence. I know it isn't 'his thing' but he has skills that will help him later....
I am thinking of starting a tumblr with pictures of art- Grendel, mine, the kids- we make lots of good stuff but I don't want to clutter up this blog with it- and tumblr can just be image based. I know flickr does the same thing... I'll figure it out.
Thing is, I am queen of distractions. It's midterm weekend for me: I have 3 short papers to write- less than 5 pages each, assignments for class, a graphics assignment, a rough draft of my paper on the history of medical illustration, an appointment with Dr. C in Wilmington, cooking to do for boy (requested Italian wedding soup with homemade bread, Mojo stirfry with coconut rice) grading my class at ECU- posts, quizzes and papers, grading my classes at school (they apparently had a bomb scare Friday- lovely for my sub, I'm sure)...plus the regular mommy chores.
Theory about me and procrastination is that I have a fear of boredom. I HATE being bored, so I am excellent at finding things to do. In talking about this with Dr.C , we ventured all the way back to when I was in grade school- I would put off starting projects because the anxiety of waiting is exciting- stress = endorphins/adrenalin which is natures way of making you high. So, if I put myself into a state of stress, I kick start these chemicals which then make me more anxious until I reach a 'tipping point'. Then I start working- I have tricked my body into operating at superspeed to accomplish whatever. (mental task- like school work, physical task - like power cleaning or creative task- like commissioned paintings). As a child, this kept me from finishing ahead of my classmates (and the resulting social stigma- I was one of those kids who would read the entire English book in the first week of school, then be bored), getting into trouble when finishing early (because I would be finished, then start doodling, daydreaming etc.) or just from being bored after completion. (I seem to always need a goal). As an adult this behavior pattern is retained- but physically I do not like it. I can still operate like this but I eat to much before hand (as a distraction) and am to exhausted afterwards. I also suspect that my quality of work would be better if I started earlier.... so let's get going!!!!
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