I am a Peculiar Child

This is what I am reading right now- sent down to me by Michelle (Melissa's sister- Thanks Shell!)- and enjoying very much.  It is one of those books that I wish I would of written- not so much the writing style, but the concept behind it. The author went through collections of vintage photos and selected those that were peculiar in some way- either illusions of light, primitive editing or just plain odd.  A few of them admittedly have been photoshopped, but he doesn't tell you which ones- and I have enough strange photos of my own to know that the unexpected can be caught on film.  (Including one very, very creepy one from my freshman year at college- back in 81- it is a photo of my tiny Christmas tree in my dorm room window- it's not the tree that is creepy at all, but what you see *out* the window- not a reflection, but a reaching silhouette of a hand, shadowy but distinct.  The main reason that this is creepy is that my room was on the *third* floor....and you can see by the 'normal' reflection in the window that I am alone and the door is shut. I wonder what I did with that photo-)

Anyway, back to the book- the story winds in and out of these photos, with the premise that these are artifacts collected by a grandfather, used to support his 'wild' stories to his grandson....who finds out later that these stories are a type of truth after all.  Good stuff- a fairy tale and type of subtle social commentary and, most of all, some excellent eye candy.  This is one of the books that I will collect and pass on to Mother when we bring her a new stock of books in June.

I love the story and the format, but also because I am a peculiar child  (and adult).  It's not so much a matter of choosing to behave eccentrically, but rather just the way I am made.  I firmly believe in magic and possibilities, that stories are important to tell for various reasons, that being yourself is your greatest magic- even if you don't dress/act/behave your age always- not as in the context of 'no responsibility for me!' but rather in the fact that you can be authentic all the time without overly worrying about the perceptions of others, that you can create your own realities and explore your life as a grand adventure.  We create ourselves- and that is an amazing power that is often forgotten.  Who do we want to be?  How do we want to be seen?  How do others see us, and how does that make us feel?  What illusions and realities do we present to the world?

Right now it is teacher appreciation week at school, and students are 'showing their love' through giving us various writings (assigned by other teachers, but an ego boost none-the-less).  One of their favorite formats is the name-poem, where each letter of your last name is used to describe something about you, and I have received several of these. The O has been for Open Minded/ Outgoing, W is for Wacky/Work (funny that- but I am pleased that the students recognize me as working hard...), E for Emphatic/ Exciting, N is for 'never boring' (lie! lie!)/ Nice, S is for Smart/Strange/Sympathetic.   Curious.  I expect a few of these, because they are obvious- but some make me extraordinarily happy (Open minded, Smart, Strange, Exciting).  Vanity! and lots of letters addressed to 'mom'.... and that makes me happy as well because lately my school-attitude has been...crappy.  I get impatient and bored, and want to be free- I have all these ideas to explore and then I get stuck trying to get the kids motivated...it is hard for me to *motivate* them instead of *yell* at them because they are wanting to not work, to be out of school- and I view this time as a treat where I am also a bit 'out of school' but full of ideas and wanting to be busy and create.  Which is hard when you are flogging dead horses and chasing down boys who sneak down to the snack machine because they are addicted to honey buns (but are also smart enough to know that I can be bribed with mint M&M's into not fussing at them to badly).....  I so want today to be a good day, full of energy and production and the magic of making things- it is up to me to do that, to make that happen and I hope I can (for my sake as well as theirs- or truthfully, for my sake more than theirs).