Eight is the symbol of infinity, of stability doubled which creates cycles that alternate- which creates natural balance. Eight is a lucky number, brings money and wealth and forevers, a good number to be a friend to. Not that other numbers can't be 'friends', but they are individuals- some feisty (fives!), tricky (sevens) or aloof (ones). Eights however are good to the core- dependable like fours, but with a rhythmic change. I love them- and most of our numbers add up to eights.
But that is not exactly what this post is about, except that it does involve the date (May 8th) which is a primary election day here, and the magic 8 ball, which I am a proud owner of and which lives in resplendent glory in the art room. The magic 8 ball is one of my most loved objects by students along with the cash register (it is rather funny to see these teenage 'rednecks' and 'gangsters' happily playing with an old push-button cash register.)...I had an 8 ball as a child (along with a Oujia board- which I wish I still had, or at least a replacement for) and other assorted things. What do we ask? Questions. Serious or not, the answers are black, white, gray- and that brings me to today.
Love. This weekend on our adventure to Enams (which is a wonderful, magical place in a tiny NC town) we met a wise woman (another Melissa) who was in her forties, working the store (she is the financial manager- degree in economics and business, but volunteers- apparently Enams runs on volunteers). In the course of conversation (which was mainly the Melissa's talking and me listening, for that is what I am good at- and it was funny because they both had bee tattoos which is how they found out they had the same name, for Melissa is the bee... and like bees they are busy and happy and talkative and wise) the black Melissa said something to the effect that "everyone is made by God, and that includes their flaws and differences. We cannot judge anyone as being better or worse because they are different than us- God made them that way for a reason- preacher, addict, gay, straight, evil, good, black, white, brown, churchy, hos, wise, stupid etc. Who are we to say that they are not perfect in their purpose? We are only responsible for our own." Which was important to hear articulated so very well- and from this wonderful lady who (I suspect) is a trickster, at turns serious and proper, vulgar and funny, sympathetic and mocking- I think we could be friends. Or at least I would like to listen to her talk more...
Point being, the whole political thing today with the primary is amendment 1, which in NC defines and limits marriage to the union between a man and a woman. I am lucky enough to be happily married- to a wonderful Mr. Owens- but I should hope that I am wise enough and generous enough to realize that other people find love and validate marriage in other ways. That marriage is a choice of life partnerships, a formal bonding of love, respect and resources with the promise to do more than just stay together~ but to care for each other for as long as their forever might be. (Forever is different for people, depending. Sometimes we grow and change and our forever together is short, sometimes it is until death do us part, sometimes longer and truly eternal. It depends, and you don't actually *know* it until it happens....I like to think that my forever with Mr. Owens will last a long long time). Anyway, love itself is a tricky thing, and like black Melissa was saying- the perfect person for you can be variable- who are we to judge perfect, or love? If anyone is lucky enough to find it, and better yet find it reciprocated, and want to marry- then they should be free to. I don't care if they are gay or straight or of different races, religions, beliefs, economics- love is love and that should be respected and honored by all of us. (*note- I *do* have a problem with child-marriages- adults only please.) So I am voting against Amendment 1, because I do not want limits- legal or otherwise- that infringe on love, marriage, and domestic partnerships.
Domestic partnerships is an awkward word. Long-term relationships with shared economic and social standing, without the religious ceremony of marriage. I have been in domestic partnerships- and yes, rights need to be protected. Some people choose to make a life together without marrying, and I wonder if this would extend to life-partners who are not in a romantic relationship? For example, I am thinking of all the little old ladies I grew up with- Auntie Lou, Cara, Grace Mackel, Aunt Peg, Granny Wrye- they were all independent as long as possible, but what if - like so many of their generation- they had began to share resources at some point? The same house, for many years~ would that count? I don't know- I may be straying into yet another area, where family is family but not family. (Grace wasn't related, but she spent all her holidays with us, and we carried her to doctors, grocery, etc.) The area is fuzzy- the 8 ball would say something like "Outlook unclear, try again later".
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