Mirror, Mirror

Granny Wrye's mirror. Green mother-of-pearl, tortoise shell, brass. More-or-less. Illusion.

I come from a family of beautiful women. We may not realize that always, for our beauty is unconventional- we are not the thin refined blonds or the athletic soccer moms. We are different, memorable, unique. Sometimes we suffer from the lack of self-confidence that comes with our culture, but that does not change the core fact that we are beautiful- all of us-

What is beauty? I am not talking about the 'beautiful personality' here, I am talking about raw physical beauty. It is strength and confidence- it is different from being sexy or cute or a hottie. (though at different stages of our lives, we have been all of those things- if you doubt, look at photos of Sue and Barbie in their mini-dresses! Hotties!!!) Mother and Granny were possessed of a regal beauty- I don't know if it was their age- we rarely get to see our Mother's during their 'hottie' stage- but no one could hold a candle to them when they swept into a place. Heads turned, doors opened, they were always remembered.

My sisters are beautiful, and I am not just saying that because they are my sisters. Although I haven't seen them for awhile, I notice things. The way their husbands look at them, the way they move and laugh, the magic of Sue's eyes, the grace of her gestures. She is a cat in human form- mysterious, exotic, knowing. Barbie's smile and amazing legs and figure. (If anyone needs to wear more short skirts, it's her!). The enduring elegance of our Mother, her daring to keep her hair long and natural, her care with perfect grooming.

I am beautiful to, in a different way. I am animated and natural- I smile lots, and am comfortable in my own skin, my own shape, my own form. I know how to play. Like everyone else, sometimes I wish I was thinner, younger, more Hollywood- but that is an illusion. I doubt that would make me happy, because I am happy being me. I refuse to enslave myself to illusion- illusions are hollow and hard to maintain, they are a set of rules and restrictions that rob you of yourself.

What it all comes back around to is the way you cast yourself on the world. You can spend your life 'trying harder' or 'maintaining', or you can spend your life living. When you are alive, you are radiant- you are the flame that draws the moths, the flame that casts the shadows. The shadows are illusion- the flame eternal.