Back in the day, "Aunt Flow" came to visit, or you "Fell off the Roof".... now there seems to be a lack of feminine code words and my students happily announce "I needa tampon!" to the class and carry them openly in their pencil pouches... of course, they really haven't a choice because they aren't allowed purses or backpacks in class, and all containers have to be clear.... just in case they might have explosives.
Anyhoo, teachers have no such luck. And I still have that bit of modesty that prevents me from even doing so much as taking my purse to the bathroom. Which is not as easy as it sounds- said purse is in the noisy filing cabinet and has every key in the universe attached to it and the bathroom is way down the hall.... as far as taking a smaller pencil-type bag, unlike the student bathrooms the teacher bathroom has no ledges. Just the toilet, a wall sink and a *sloping* machine that spits out paper towels whenever you are near it...so it is either the floor or trying to clench the bag under your chin while you negotiate everything else. I'm not that coordinated and the bag or (god forbid) my skirt ends up in the toilet. vargh.
With ninja like stealth we females have developed the technique of sliding the tampon out of the purse and up our sleeve, proceeding to the bathroom and taking care of whatever. Unless (like yesterday) you get trapped in the hall by the principal and the new-prospective-teacher that is touring. All goes well into you have to shake hands...and it's up the right sleeve.... deep breath, manages just fine until the handshake is over then- in a fit of exuberance the hand-shaking arm swings back at just the right speed to launch the tampon out where it falls out, skitters rapidly across the floor and hits a male students shoe. Who thereby exclaims "What the hell?" while everyone pretends not to notice.
As the principal and the prospective disappear down the hall, you hear the words "and that would be our art teacher".......
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